A Cliche for Mcnimz
by voldobaby
Summary: The site decided to delete the whole story so until I can sort through my other computer and re-post the story I'm just updating from where I left off. FML.
1. Chapter 1

"_Mistakes are the opportunities you decided to take." - Lauren Owens_

My hand ran smoothly over the sheets, unconsciously at first but I liked the way the cool fabric felt. I was content and not really alert, between sleep and reality. No worries, no cares, no responsibilities and no guilt.

There was faint light I realised, but only when it disappeared. I frowned and stretched out, finding nothing. The mattress shifted as someone climbed into the bed and my heart stuttered for a moment and stopped when a strong arm folded around my waist. It started again when Damon sighed into my hair.

Smiling, I fell back into sleep.

I muted bang and someone's call woke me up. First I thought I'd dreamt it or imagined it, but then it happened again and much closer to Damon's room. I froze.

"What the fuck" Damon mumbled sitting up on his forearms as the door burst open and Santana came in already talking.

"Why the hell is no one answering their phones?" I thought my eyes were going to roll out of my skull in fright or shock, not sure, as she strolled casually in and sat down on the end of Damon's bed.

"Well?" she asked expectantly looking at us both. I clung the covers so tightly around me and tried to put together some kind of alibi. Damon was no help as he fell back into his pillow and ran his hands over his face muttering about changing the locks.

"It's not what it looks like." I blurted out. Any chance of her buying it wasn't helped by Damon's snigger and I wanted to kick him.

"No, no." she said sympathetically, "Just two kids skipping school for a lie in."

Damon sat up and I thought he might help me with this but he just grabbed some boxers from his bed side drawer and headed off to his bathroom.

Son of a bitch.

"The night I had and not one of you were concerned about how I was. I'm taken for granted, well that's one thing I won't stand for." Santana ranted in a fake wounded voice, then she sprung up, "I'll go put the coffee on then because I'm sure you need it."

"It's not what it looks like" I repeated again just for the sake of it.

"To make that convincing you might want these back" she said taking my panties out of back pocket and flinging them at me. I was going to kill her. "Found them on the stairs", she laughed at my expression and disappeared out the door.

Damon came out of the bathroom and leaned on the door frame, "Good luck to Matt." He said after a few seconds.

I felt like I was in some sort of twilight zone as I stared wordlessly at him. He just stared back at me, as I sat in his bed, with his cover clung to my chest.

"Good luck to Matt? That's all you can say?"

"It's too early for insightful and tactful conversation." He said walking a little bit into the room, "So I think I'm going to take a shower and try and waken up before I have to deal with anything…..Your welcome to join me."

He smirked and eyed the sheet my fingers were already loosening around. Well I was already a sinner so why not.

A little while later I padded down the stairs, deciding that if Santana could let herself in and stroll around then that meant not one else was in. I couldn't help but smirk a little as I passed discarded clothing, then feel bad about not feeling bad. Morals do not come into this house, they wait outside.

I heard Santana banging around in the kitchen and feeling refreshed and braver I went in. She eyed Damon's sweat pants and shirt, and the wet hair I was modelling, "Likes to get you wet doesn't he?"

"Shut up." I told her. She handed me a mug of coffee instead of throwing it around me.

"Well I'm impressed is all."

"With what?" I asked cautiously.

"That you haven't run out screaming full of remorse and whatever."

I shrugged, "I'm surprised myself… you never know, could still happen"

Before bad feelings and thoughts could creep in the delicious smell of coffee took over and Santana said no more about it.

"So what happened with Matt?"

"Well he carried me out, told me I was embarrassing him, I mean _me embarrass him_ he'd already done that to himself, sharing salvia with her in front of everyone, Mr Moral high ground or whatever, so I slapped him and he freaked out a bit more and there was a lot of shouting and then I slapped him again, I think, and got in a cab and went home."

I blinked, "And?"

"And then he followed me home and started throwing rocks at my window because I wouldn't open the door, I think he thought it was meant to be romantic or something but he fucking threw one through an open one and it smashed a vase and I was ready to kill him. So more shouting, can't remember what about, and then he kissed me…" she smiled at this bit while I tried not to 'awh' because I know she'd hit me, "So then we talked, just about stuff, and I think, yeah, were, um, dating now."

"And?" I pushed again.

"Well there are conditions" she said, hopping up on the stool beside me as Damon strolled in. He winked at me before pouring himself a cup of coffee. Santana snapped her finger in front of my face, "Jesus, listen to me!"

"I am! You and Matt have conditions."

"Conditions" Damon sniggered pouring out some coffee, "God love him"

"Hey at least I'm getting my shit together" She snapped at him and the first stab of guilt hit somewhere in my middle, "which is more than I can say for you."

She basically meant me more than him. Damon's eyes darkened as if she'd hit him where it hurt. "I'll be taking bets of how long it lasts" he replied smoothly, walking out.

"Asshole. Anyway, Matt's not allowed anywhere near Quinn, she walks into a room, he walks out, she talks to him, he solders her mouth shut. In return I'm not allowed to beat the crap out of her." She took a long gulp of her coffee.

"So…definitely not 'friends' with her anymore?"

"We haven't been friends for a long time." She shrugged and drained the last of her drink.

Well that's good to know. All this time I've been having problems with the witch and I thought Santana refused to do anything about it because they were friends… obviously not. Not that Santana should fight my battles… but if she could extend some kind of influence it would really help.

"So what's going on with you two besides it not being what it looks like?" Santana said, looking like she had difficulty getting her tongue around the words.

"I…. did what I wanted to?" The words fell off my tongue and after they were out I realised they were right. But I didn't like them, "But it's not like I have a boyfriend, I mean Jesse's not my boyfriend, and um, Damons, well…"

"Hot. As. Hell?" Santana sounded out.

"Well there's that but then there's…"

She waited for an answer I didn't have.

"Am I an idiot?" I asked suddenly feeling like one.

"If it feels good it can't be wrong. Well, not really wrong anyway."

"Sounds like the same thing Hitler lived by"

"So ask Rachel, I'm not exactly a candidate for moral guidance."

Rachel was going to kill me.

Santana jumped off her stool, "Well, you figure out who is your boyfriend is and then things will be sorted. I have to go. I'm meeting Matt. I think were going on a date." She grimaced on the word 'date', "Another one of the conditions, we have to go on them and I have to hold his hand..."

"How awful."

"Yup" she agreed and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, "See you later. By the way movie night at my place on Friday. Work out who you want to sleep with and the guest rooms yours" She laughed.

"That's not funny." I growled but she waved me off and strolled out of the kitchen.

I threw my cup into the sink and followed her out, she was bearing over Damon's chair pointing her finger at him, and he looked like was debating biting it off.

"See you guys tomorrow." She called cheerily and flounced out.

"What was all that about?" I asked suspiciously. I've always thought they had secret conversations, like they were unofficial best friends.

"Oh Santana got a guy to date her steadily and thinks she has the answer to everything now." He replied bitterly but smiled when he looked over at me, "You wanna sit down?"

I was standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room…and even more awkwardly now he was staring at me.

"Not there." He said when I made a move towards the sofa. He quirked an eyebrow and stretched meaningfully. I rolled my eyes as I walked over to him, hoping he wouldn't be too satisfied with himself. He had a bigger ego than I had ships. He pulled me down onto his lap and I snuggled down, trying to settle the anxiety in my stomach. I wonder if this was the start of things being transparent and honest. Things could just fall into place easily now if me and Damon had the right kind of conversation, and I had the right kind of conversation with Jesse. It could go either way, me and Damon could agree last night was just something that had to happen to ease the tension between us and that was that, or we could try picking up where we fucked it all up. I couldn't tell what I was hoping for though…because it still pissed me off the things he said to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked flicking through the channels.

"I don't care." He murmured pulling my hair slowly away from my neck.

"Ohhh I like this show." I barely got out, distracted by his lips on my skin.

"I like you in my clothes."

Every time I directed my focus at the show it trailed off again to what Damon was doing. Whether he running his hand lightly down my leg and laughing because it was making me jump or kissing the patch of skin behind my ear.

"When's Stefan coming home?" I managed to say.

"Could be any minute" he whispered his hand gliding underneath my shirt.

By the end credits I didn't know whether Blair had married the French loser or not. When I was dressed in my own clothes and ready to start thinking about right and wrong, I decided it was time to leave.

"Do you want me to give you a lift?" Damon asked pulling his shirt over his head. I held back from telling him he looks better without it.

"No its okay. Um have you seen my phone?"

"I'll call it."

I waited to hear the familiar ring tune but it didn't sound anywhere through the house.

"Maybe you left-" Damon stopped talking as a faint voice greeted him through his mobile.

"Whos.." I started but he held his hand up.

"Is Niamh there?" he asked innocently to whoever had picked up, they snapped an answer back at him to which he rolled his eyes, "Just wanted to ask her about an English assignment we had. Anyone would think your insecure, good thing I know better. So have her call me back, bye bye."

Oh hell.

"Your boyfriend has your phone." He told me without looking at me and dialling another number to order me a taxi.

"He's not my boyfriend." I muttered, although I'm not sure what difference it would make. Morals seemed to have been camping outside with Panic as they came running in together and clung to me.

"I'm going to have to tell him." I told Damon when he got off the phone.

"Why would you do that?" He asked, putting his phone in his back pocket and fixing me with an expectant look.

"Because it's the right thing to do…" I frowned, the familiar feeling of aggravation that Damon brought out rippling over my skin.

"Right for who?" he challenged, "It's just unneeded drama. Besides he's not even your boyfriend right?"

I glared at him. Why did he have to go from being so lovely to being such a dick head and making me want to hit him.

I shook my head, "The difference between me and you is that I actually have some decency."

He smirked, "Before you go you might want to go see if you left it in my bed."

"You're such an asshole." I exclaimed snatching up my jacket.

"So what's new?" His voice thick with sarcasm as a horn beeped from outside.

I give him a last filthy look before storming towards the door and that's when it opened and Stefan walked in. I rushed out past him before his judging face could say anything. Damon wasn't in the mood for questions either as it seemed as I heard, 'Don't say one god damn word', from behind me as I got in the cab and slammed the door.

No Stefan don't try and talk sense to the selfish asshole, who likes to mess with people and their feelings to satisfy his own needs. I didn't need to ask Santana or Rachel, I was a fucking idiot.

I didn't want to be a dishonest idiot either. I gave the cab driver Jesse's address.

I went over it in my head, what I would say, but nothing sounded right. How could anything sound right? I was about to tell him I basically cheated on him with the irritating dick he hated just because he was being an ass around my friends and not paying me attention. By the time I was in front of his apartment door I'd just worked myself into an emotional mess. My hand felt like it was made of lead as I knocked the door. My chest clenched when the door swung open and the handsome man that may or may not be my boyfriend gave me a warm smile.

"Hello beautiful." He said softly stepping aside to let me in and then gathering me up into his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked my hair.

My eyes welled, "I'm having a bad day."

He rubbed soothing circles around my back.

"Jesse are you my boyfriend?" I mumbled into his sweater.

He laughed quietly, "Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"

"That's a question not an answer." I huffed.

He pulled back and peered into my face and I hope he wouldn't find anything, "I'll make us some tea."

He led me into the living room and made me sit on his sofa. I tore ideas up in my head and tried to put together new ones on how to tell him but it was so hard. His apartment was so welcoming and I felt so safe. I tucked myself up into his sofa.

I jumped as he slid my phone onto my thigh, "I said Santana called me and told me you'd stayed at hers and were looking for your phone."

"Oh right, yeah"

I owed her one. Jesse handed me my tea and I moulded up against him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Jesse said, "I didn't behave very well."

Yeah me and you both.

"You don't like my friends."

"It's not that I don't like them, I just think we run in different circles. They're okay."

"You're telling me you think Santana's okay?" I smiled despite of myself.

"Well maybe I don't like Santana" he admitted with an apologetic smile, "But if you like her then there must be something good there. I'll try harder. It's just, I looked at them last night and yano, I've done that, I've gotten drunk at the grill and been part of all the teen drama's."

"Are you saying were immature?"

"No. I'm saying I'm just older and I've already done what you're doing now."

Not patronizing at all.

"So….what are you doing with me then?"

He pulled me closer to him and tilted my chin up towards his face, "You remind of the best things about growing up. Your lovely, you're bright and you're sweet. You try and see the best in people."

His brown eyes roamed over my face and I knew he meant every word. So the flood of emotion hit me harder and I was crying again. He let me hide in his shoulder as his hand smoothed over my hair, "So yes, if it's up to me, I'd very much like to be your boyfriend."

So it was just my move now.

He didn't once complain that I was in last night clothes and they smelled a little funky and faintly of Damon's cologne. He didn't chastise me for not going to school, we watched movies all day and made popcorn. When we watched Rent he got a little goofy and stood on the sofa to belt out a number and when he couldn't get me up to join in he sat down with his knees on either side of my hips and leaned down over me.

"I should get you home" he murmured against my mouth.

"Stop being so responsible."

"You're a bad influence."

"You're a paedophile." I giggled and then laughed at his face.

"That's not funny" he frowned and I laughed harder, then turned into a squirming, screaming ninja when he started roughly tickling me. I managed to fall off the sofa and crawl away from his grasp but he caught me again and forced me to apologise or the torture would continue.

"Speaking of responsibilities." He said, releasing my wrists and running a hand over my face, "Damon called. Something about an English assignment. I said you'd ring him back."

It was very hard not to let the panic spread all over my face. I swallowed as he watched my face closely, "Oh right, okay. I'll get back to him tomorrow."

Jesse pulled away and stood up, retrieving my phone from the coffee table, "Better do it now and get it out of the road and then we can get back to being irresponsible."

I got up and put on my best sultry look, "I wanna be irresponsible now" and started tugging at his sweater.

"Ring him" Jesse ordered, holding the phone out to me.

"Fine." I said defeated, snatching the phone out of his hand.

I turned my back for a little privacy but Jesse shadowed me as the phone rang.

"Hey Damon, what was it you wanted to know about the assignment?" I tried to say evenly as soon as there was a click on the other end.

His voice was flat, "So you didn't tell him then."

He sounded disappointed, "No, the way you had it planned the first time was a better idea."

"Since when do I have good ideas?" he muttered, "I'm assuming he's beside you now or something."

"Yes. So if that's all you were worrying about-"

"I'll have a look for you, for that decency you're so fond of but couldn't seem to find this morning. It might be under the bed."

Pain plumed in the back of my throat at his words, and also because he sounded upset, like I'd hurt him. He was the one that told me not to, he was so fucking backwards.

"You do that." I said in a hard voice, "Bye Damon."

I didn't hang up straight away, I waited for him to say something but he must have thought I'd already gone. His voice sounded fainter and he wasn't talking to me when he said, "She didn't tell him."

I composed my face before turning to Jesse, "There, all done." And then I secured my mouth to his before he could say something that would make me feel worse and not forget.

-

"So what are we planning on watching at yours then?" Jeremy asked Santana in the cafeteria the next day.

Santana rolled her eyes, "A movie most likely."

Matt nudged her shoulder meaningfully and she sighed, "Whatever you guys want". I tried not laugh, another one of Matt's conditions was that she had to be nicer to people.

"And who did you invite?" Jeremy asked sweetly, trying to wind her up.

Santana took a deep breath, "People, you lot and stuff."

"How big is your living room?" I asked.

"Big enough."

"Is Jesse coming" Rachel asked around her carrot stick.

Santana looked at me, "I don't know, _is he_?"

"If that's okay with you" I shrugged and taking drink from my coke can.

"Guess so" Santana said quietly and I glanced up to see her look at Damon who burning holes into my face. Stefan was staring at me to, no expression on his face but his eyes were searching mine for something.

"I am not fucking watching Twilight" Puck said scarping back the chair he'd temporally occupied, "Seriously, anyone brings it, I'll snap it." And he strode back to the jocks.

I don't know what size Santana had deluded herself into believing her living room was but it certainly wasn't big enough. That I found out when Jesse pulled up outside her house.

"Maybe it's the wrong house" Jesse said frowning.

"No this is it." I replied drinking in the place. People were on the front lawn, the signature red cups in their hand and music was spilling out of the open door.

I got out as Jesse sighed and Matts truck pulled up behind us.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed getting out with Jeremy and Sam.

"Ooohhh hell yes!" Sam said striding off towards the house. Matt and Jeremy followed off after him.

Jesse was watching the house.

"More crappy teenage stuff you've to put up with?" I said playfully, hoping he wasn't about to march me back to the car.

He glanced down at me, "Oh I think I'll survive one night."

I intertwined our hands and starting walking towards the house, "If it's too awful we'll leave and spend the night at yours."

"That sounds like a far better plan, can we just do that?" he said hopefully, kissing my cheek before we navigated people at the front door.

I led him through the house, holding onto his hand encase he tried to bolt. Truthfully I was clinging to him for my own means of safety to; as there were less people here from my school and more people I hadn't a clue about. They were a completely different crowd and most of the guys had wife beaters on with black tattoos binding around their biceps. The girls were like trashy Santana's…

Finally there was a tanned guy I recognised and I pulled Jesse, who looked a bit disturbed, in Pucks direction.

"Who are these people?" I asked him as he promptly handed me a wine cooler.

"The neighbourhood" he said simply.

"But I wanted to watch Edward and Bella brood over their doomed love." I mock whined and Puck rolled his eyes.

"Want a beer?" he asked Jesse.

"No, driving."

"Santana said we could stay here…" I trailed off not really knowing if I'd want to stay here or if anyone would have any intention of leaving.

"Thought you didn't know it was party." Jesse said.

"I didn't, she said when we all thought it was a movie night." I defended but then again I didn't know whether it was all just a part of her sarcasm. Jesse just looked at me.

"So…beer?" Puck asked awkwardly.

"Fine" Jesse said without expression looking around. I rolled my eyes at Puck who shrugged; well this was going to be fun.

"I said excuse me!" Rachel shrieked holding her hands up as she shimmied through the cluster of people and reaching us," Did I get the night wrong? She said Friday right? Maybe these people took over her house… should we phone the police?"

"Hi Rachel." I said holding out my wine cooler to her.

"But we drank on Wednesday…and _you _didn't come in the next day."

"No school tomorrow." I said nonchantly and hedged, "You only live once."

She thought about it, "True" and she took the drink, "I don't like the look of people here though."

"Riff Raff." Jesse said without even a trace of humour.

"Oh don't judge a book by its cover." I said.

"Don't be niave" he countered sliding a hand around my waist.

Jeremy and Sam found their way over to us and Jeremy put his arms around Rachel which immediately made her relax.

"Does Santana know there's guys giving tatoo's in the back yard." Sam asked Puck snatching up a beer.

"Does anyone know where she is?" Matt cut in appearing at Jesse's arm.

Some how I think a party went against a condition or two.

"I'd recognise that ass anywhere" Santana voice declared as her arm slipped around my shoulders.

We all looked at her waiting for some kind of explanation.

"Small gathering, movie night" I finally quoted her, gesturing around.

She shrugged, "YOLO. Lost track of invites and when they smell a get together round here word spreads like herpes."

I grimaced, "I hope that wasn't a tested statistic."

She laughed and opening my drink for me, "See, I sure as hell didn't invite her." She nodded to the other side of the room where Bonnie was standing with a blonde who looked uncomfortable.

"Ow" Jesse's fingers had tightened around my hip and I looked at him confused. He muttered an apology and took a long drag of his beer. Weird.

"You think you'd have told us that." Matt half laughed.

"What? Just because we're dating I have to clear everything with you now? Have to make sure it's okay with my boyfriend first if I want to have a party!" She burst out and I jumped, "Screw that!".

"That's not what I..." Matt struggled as she disappeared off into the crowd. He looked at us for some kind of help before scurrying off after her.

"He's going to have his hands full." Jesse said.

"I'll say." Rachel agreed.

Naturally being with Puck we had to do at least two shots. My stomach dropped with Jesse took the one Puck was handing me and then I gaped at him when he took it, someone's attitude had changed. Turns out the imitating people surrounding us weren't two intimidating, I ended up having conversation with this guy about dogs and cats which ended up me being picked up in one arm and Rachel in the other and being carried into the room where music was blasting Nicki Manaj.

In the middle of crazy dancing I noticed these two girls looking me and Rachel up and down and thought this is where the girls from the block where going to beat the crap out of us. I wondered if I could make it to the exit if I pushed them hard enough when they came over.

"You both have really good boobs. Did you go abroad?"

What. Rachel blinked then started laughing hysterically. They convinced her to rip the sleeved off her shirt and open three tops buttons and made her put on lip gloss. One of them demanded her boyfriend give her his belt so she fastened it around my waist rolling up my dress a little and tucking in behind the strap.

Rachel hauled me through the house looking for Jeremy and we found Stefan stumbling in the back door, "I got a tattoo!" and he pulled up his sleeve to show us. Before I could say anything I was off the ground and clinging to someone's neck, someone with poofy black hair.

"Will we ever meet sober?" Blaine asked setting me down and looking into my shocked face.

"Where's the fun in that?" I laughed

"I want one!" Rachel declared letting go of Stefan's bicep and heading for the backdoor.

"Jesus, Rachel, wait!" Blaine shouted running after her when we realised she was serious.

"That's really awesome" I admired and Stefan flexed some more.

"To be honest it hurts like a bitch" He said honestly dropping the whole façade and pouting.

"Let's get some ice…and I'm pretty sure you need a bandage over it" I said leading him into the kitchen where familiar faces were. Blaine came back with a pouting Rachel who tried getting Jeremy's permission to get inked….but he was having a hard time not looking down her shirt.

"I can't believe you got this done", I said a little dazed tending stefan's arm, not really knowing what I was doing.

"The guys good, had a shop in town. Been thinking about it for a while, if I regret it tomorrow I'll blame Damon for telling me to do it."

"Damon's here?" I asked not looking up.

"Of course he's here."

Yay. Hopefully I wouldn't have to talk to him, there was plenty of people here….plenty of girls here that were all quite confident. I clenched my jaw.

"Then again, everyone's here." He continued and then added, "I think I saw Quinn."  
I looked up at him wondering why he felt the need to add that on, he was watching me closely before he smiled, "Thanks for that, I need a beer."

Jesse wasn't in the kitchen anymore, he better not have bloody left me. Santana came in with Matt shadowing her, hands on her hips.

"The lovers' quarrel over?" A sarcastic voice speculated. I hadn't even notice Damon had come in. Leaning back against the counter and smirking beside Puck and Bonnie.

"Oh I'm sure some making up was down in a deserted corner, or bedroom" Puck guessed, equally smirking.

"Fuck up." Santana said bluntly.

"Ohhh three guesses for who wears the trousers." Puck guffawed.

"Three guesses to who'll have theirs round their ankles with their boxers on fire if anymore smacks said about me and my man." Santana warned and Matt hid his smile in her hair. Guess Santana was over whatever relationship panic attack she had.

"Tell me" Damon said leaning forward as everyone else tittered and 'ohhed', "Is that part of the conditions."

She picked up an empty beer can and threw it at him but he dodged it laughing and then she had her finger in his face again trying to threaten him. He pulled Bonnie in front of him as a body shield. He glanced up at me and then bent down to nip at her ear and slid his hands around her hips. The blonde Bonnie had been with early came in and approached Stefan, looking really apprehensive but nobody paid attention, too engrossed in Santana yelling at Damon, she looked like she was asking for something and Stefan walked out with her. Damon watched them subtly over Bonnie's head, and then saw me watching him. I became engrossed in my drink. I was far too fucking observant for my own good, or maybe just nosey. I don't know.

"Tell me, can you recommend what corner or room you used." Damon asked Santana when she was threw cautioning him. Bonnie giggled and slapped him away like she was embarrassed. Bet she was loving it.

I went to look for Jesse.

I caught him coming down the stairs.

"Can we go back to yours now?" I asked slipping my arms around him.

"Uh" he said over my head, "Sure, in a while. I'll be back in a minute."

"I've hardly seen you." I whined, He looked down at me then and took my face in his hands.

"I'll give you all my attention later, promise. I've just met some people, you want me to get along with your friends right?"

"Well yes-"

"So enjoy yourself" he have me a quick kiss and disappeared.

Since when did he become so eager for me to party with my friends.

"That guys an idiot. I'd be given you all my attention." A brash voice decided.

"Thanks Jacob."I said absentmindly trying to decide what way to flee.

"Why don't I give you all my attention." He suggested biting his lip. He looked like a right dickhead.

"You repulse me." I stated clearly. He snorted obviously not getting it and I turned on my heel. Then for the second time that week he slapped my ass. Hard.

I jumped and half screamed, "That fucking hurts!"

"Want me to do it again?" he leered. One of the wife beater guys was looking at him behind his back, obviously wondering whether he should stand in or not.

"Do it again and I'll kill you." I hissed. He looked at me for a moment before cruel smirk appeared on his face and I basically ran back in the direction of the kitchen, banging into Santana.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked leaning back to look at me.

"You don't have a tolerance for who you let come that's what" I growled, "Like who the hell invited her?"

Santana looked over he shoulder at Bonnie, "Told you it wasn't me."

"So Damon brought her" I said before I could stop myself.

"What does that matter to you?" she laughed but it still felt harsh. Her smile disappeared when she caught the look on my face, "Does it matter do you?"

I blinked, "Well…You see the…I…No"

I found myself in her in bathroom with her locking the door. She handed me one of the four drinks she's brought with her, how she learns to hide this stuff I don't know.

"Matt's not happy." She smirked.

"So why'd you do it then?" I asked sitting down on the toilet seat.

"What? Just because I get a boyfriend, delete my booty call list, and only want to with him means I have to change everything about myself so he's always happy? He likes me, well thinks he likes me now, yano the way I am. So…if he doesn't like it, well I guess I have to put all them numbers back in my phone book."

"Aren't you scared?" I asked.

"Yes." She answered quietly, "But don't' you think Rachel would be a lot happier if Jeremy didn't get stoned and he wouldn't want to suffocate himself in his grungy hoodie every time she makes him listen to beathoven or whaever. "

"Jesse thinks he's more maturely evolved than us" I said taking a long gulp of my drink and furrowing my eyebrows. Jesus she needs to learn vodka to coke ratio.

"Maybe he is. What do you think you have to change to be with him?" She asked trying to sit down but fell back heavily onto her ass.

"I just feel, sometimes, I have to think about what I say before I say it…" She waited for me to go on, she was rocking a little back and fourth…I made a mental note that she may be wasted and cannot be responsible for what she says. Then there was wild knocking on the door.

"Were in here!" Santana screamed. Yes, she was hammered.

"Exactly!" Rachel shouted back, "Let me in!" Santana leaned back and freed the lock. Rachel flung the door open, hitting the back of Santana's head in the process.

"Sorry" Rachel sang and sat down on the edge of the tub. She looked from both of our faces and sipped innocently on the straw of her drink, "What are you two keeping from me."

"Lots and lots of sex secrets because you have your V plates." Santana stated.

I might be blessed with some kind of sixth sense because I was staring at Santana's bathroom tiles but could feel Rachel burning holes into me.

"I'm going to guess it has something to do with Damon…or Matt…or Quinn. But mostly Damon because Niamh won't look at me."

"Jesse wasn't my boyfriend" I whined putting my head in my hands and briefly wondered if the police would show up, the music was making the floor shake.

"But he is now?"

"He wants to be." I mumbled, sitting up.

"Jesse looks really uncomfortable down stairs." Rachel commented.

"Do you want him to be?" Santana said clearly and very seriously. The effect was ruined when she hiccupped.

"I don't know what I want. I know what I want when I feel it. I feel like such a crappy person because I don't know…I should right? You want Matt and you want Jeremy, why don't I know what the hell I want?"

"I didn't think I wanted Matt…" Santana said after a few seconds silence, "but I just decided to try it out… in my head it was like, well I've already tried everything else why not this."

"I don't think I really want to get to that point…no offence."

"I think you do know what you want" Rachel declared, looking very concentrated, "I think you're just scared to admit it because you'll lose the prospect of the other. In a perfect world you'd have choosen one and been friends with the other one."

"They're both just so different though…" I frowned.

"Well, so are me and Santana and were your best friends."

"If you say so." Santana said looking disgusted. Her reflex against anything warm and nice being said about her.

"Am I a bad person?" because I really, really was feeling like one.

"You're human." Rachel said softly, "Just, stop running from the problem and make up your mind."

"Speaking of running from problems" Santana groaned getting up, "I'm going to go find Matt before anyone tries to fight with him or something."

"And I should go find Jeremy before he buys a crack pipe" Rachel decided and I couldn't help but laugh. She gave me a long hug as Santana disappeared out the door, "Don't end up kissing the wrong person goodnight."

Then I was by myself in the bathroom, polishing off my first drink and starting on the second, trying to think about my life. My life was a mess. I didn't want it to get the point where I wasn't left with options because things had blown up in my face. Looking at it logically there wasn't anything with Damon, he was volatile and sensitive and arrogant. But how long would Jesse be here for, was I just in his life because he was here, back in Lima and away from New York where all the more maturely evolved girls were who could make decisions about who they wanted to date.

I took another gulp of my drink, maybe I should just be single and concentrate on my SAT's. No I was far too horny for that.

I took another gulp of my drink when there was more knocking on the door. I stood up and stumbled into the counter, yeah definitely going to have to talk to Santana about her vodka to coke ratio.

More banging, "I'm coming!"

I unlocked the door and barely got it open before Damon slid into the room closing it behind him, "That's what I like to hear."

He leaned back against the door folding his arms, oh Christ. Commence the options blowing up in my face. I shifted from foot to foot, "I'm sorry you know."

"For what?" he said in a lazy tone. He was hammered too.

"For going to Jesse's after leaving yours." I said.

"It's only right. He's your boyfriend." He let out a short laugh, "like I sort of was, the fucking irony. Did you go from his to mine?"

I didn't have to listen to this. I made for the door and tried to push out past him but he pulled back and held me at arm's length, "I didn't mean that."

"Then why did you say it?" I demanded furiously

He let go and ran his hands through his hair, "I don't know, it's a habit. Saying things I don't mean."

"Why?"

He didn't answer me, just stared at me with burning blue eyes. I felt myself getting nervous and tension whirring in my chest.

"Because you're jealous." I said taking a shallow breath. His eyes got impossible dark and I thought he might be furious.

"Why would I be jealous?" He said quietly and I didn't let my insecurity get a hold of that one.

"Because I'll be leaving with him" I said carefully and when he didn't say anything I kept pushing, "Later I'll be sleeping with him and tomorrow I'll wake up with him."

He took a deep breath and I waited on an explosion but he said just as evenly, "You'd be jealous to"

"What?"

No! He didn't get to turn this on me.

"Say I left with Bonnie. Say I left with anyone, maybe Quinn." He laughed darkly, "Before Santana throws her out."

My jaw clenched, "You do that, you leave with the evil bitch. It'll say everything about you."

I tried pushing past him again and got the door opened but it slammed closed under Damon's palm. His chest pressed up against my back and his lips were at my ear, "Why can't we do both. You can have your boyfriend and you can have me." His hand traced down the fabric covering my leg and I caught it, "I won't tell him."

There it was the perfect situation and I couldn't think like I should have, I didn't have clear head, it was clouded over by vodka and the feeling of Damon's body pressed up against me. It was difficult to breathe.

"Someone will get hurt."

"I don't care."

I shoved him back, "That's the problem! Until you start caring then this isn't happening again. Ever. I'm not going to turn into a person I don't like or do things to hurt people for someone who doesn't even care."

His face became softer, around the edges not so intense but he didn't say what I wanted him to, "He doesn't care about the way you want him to either-"

"What" I said shaking my head in disbelief that he'd go down this route.

"Otherwise he wouldn't be down stairs with another girl. He'd be more jealous of me leaving here with her than he would be if I left here with you."

"You're so full of shit." I spat at him.

"Why would I lie to you?"

"Why do you do anything you do Damon? Why do you like to piss your brother off? Why do you like messing with girl's heads? Why do like having things on your terms only? Because you're selfish!" I screamed the last part at him and glared at him, glared at him through angry tears.

I took a long, steadying drink and heard him sigh. He tried putting his arms around me and I flinched back, pissed off even more when a tear slid down my cheek. With the door against my back I was in Damon's arms unwillingly.

"If I'm selfish and he's …" his voice trailed off with anger burning it to cinders. I was too confused to push away from his grasp and I wanted to enjoy the way he smelled and the tingles that ran over my skin.

"He's what?" I pressed wary I was about to hear more jealous bullshit.

"It doesn't matter." he muttered after what felt like forever.

"Your unbelievable" I said exasperated beyond belief and pushed him away, "He's my boyfriend now you know. So you can't do this. Either we're friends or we aren't."

He considered that, "Friends then."

Even I wasn't convinced and I was the one who give the ultimatum.

"It not going to work though." He said with a short laugh.

"Why?"

He leaned down into my face, almost kissing distance and reached past me. He said simply, "Jealousy" He pulled the door open and walked out.

Well I wasn't going to be made Jealous. I stormed out after him, back to the kitchen and took the drink Sam had just poured for himself.

"That's really strong" he protested but I gulped down the vile liquid anyway.

"Irish girls can drink!" the cats and dog's guy praised.

"Aye." I agreed roughly trying not to choke.

"What's wrong with your eye?" Sam said concerned and I started giggling.

"ITS MY PARTY AND I'LL BE A BITCH IF I WANT TO!" Santana sang flouncing past us with Matt rushing in after her and grabbing her around her waist. He started trying to reason with her and she was shaking her head and smirking.

"Are you throwing Quinn out?" I asked taking another drink from Sam.

"That is a mighty fine idea!" Santana said slowly smiling up at Matt.

"Great I'll help."

"No, no. No fights, you promised." Matt chastised.

"Then you have to dance with me!"

"No."

"Have you seen Jesse?" I asked Sam but he hadn't. I peered out the window but I couldn't see him in the garden.

"C'mon." Sam said, taking my hand, "Let's go dance."

"Sam's dancing with Niamh!" Santana whined as we made our way into the other room. A hand closed around my wrist as Santana latched on muttering about having to pull out someone's hair to prove a point.

Sam was a great step in for a boyfriend, mainly because we could dance flirty or just like complete retards and know there was nothing in it. He was just a friend. Which is more than I could say for Damon as him and Bonnie grinded at the other side of the room.

"I'd throw her out but I'm only allowed to beat one person up if Matt doesn't get in here." Santana shouted into my ear, "And we both know what blonde I'd be saving it for."

I laughed knowing just who she was talking about. I hadn't even seen Quinn and she was on everyone's crap list. Why did she even bother coming, idiot. Matt eventually did appear with a coy smile looking really awkward in the room full of hyper/drunk dancing people.

A song with a slow intro came on and people booed.

"TURN THAT OVER" Santana yelled at the appointed DJ and then turned back to Matt, "Although I wouldn't mind slow dancing with you, practice for prom."

Matt grimaced.

"Hopefully it goes better than last prom" Quinn remarked from under Tyler's arm as they passed.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh here it is. I could actually feel my face turning into something disgusted.

"Hello Quinny, you be nice to me or you won't make it to prom." Santana said sweetly as Matt put his arms around her.

"I'd rather not go at all than be caught in the gym supply store with, who was it? Brittany and three guys off the football team?" Quinn's words stumbled over each other a bit, she was drunk.

It was a good thing Matt was holding onto Santana. Tyler put his arm around Quinn and tried to steer her away but she was having too much fun smiling at Santana and working her up more.

"You're making a fool of yourself." I told Quinn harshly.

"Well you would know." She smiled, "Be careful Sam, you don't know where she's been."

"Nobody wants you here Quinn." Sam said plainly from beside me, "And she's my friend, she's from New York and Ireland. I know where she's been."

I started laughing and turned into his shoulder, he was so blonde sometimes. By the time I'd turned around Matt was trying to soothe a muttering Santana and Quinn was gone.

"I'll be two minutes!" Sam yelled over the music that had started blasting again, he motioned he was getting more drinks.

After ten minutes of dancing with some randomers it was clear Sam wasn't coming straight back and I wasn't drunk enough to dance by myself. Matt and Santana were in a bubble and I didn't want to be the third wheel.

A hand slid into mine and spun me around. I gripped Damon's shoulders as reflex so I didn't fall over.

"Were friends" he shouted at my objecting face, as I tried to step away from him.

Yes friends, friends that notice when other friend's shirts are half way unbuttoned.

"Have you seen Jesse?" I yelled, just to be bad.

"No! Have you seen Stefan?" he yelled back seriously.

I shook my head.

"Well until they make themselves present again…" he grabbed my hands and pushed me away and back to him again, _"Starships were meant to fly…"_

I couldn't help but laugh and let him lead, I really liked this song.

I tried to keep a distance between us, like I'd done with Sam but it wasn't working. Although I couldn't see anyone I knew around, so when Damon's hands grabbed my hips and pulled me against him I didn't pull away.

_We aren't kissing, it's fine._

Just basically having sex with clothes on as his leg moved in between mine and I held onto his shoulders so I didn't fall over. I refused to look up at his face; afraid I'd kiss him so I looked everywhere else… then I found my finger tips tracing the exposed skin on his chest.

"You can't keep doing that" he murmured in my ear….well I think that's what he said, it was hard to hear anything above the music.

I took a deep breath and stepped away from him, to which he gave me a really disappointed face. I motioned I needed a drink and he nodded, taking my hands and leading me through the crowd and back to the kitchen. I dropped his hand just before we came through the door.

If he minded it didn't show as he tackled Stefan, who pushed him away making angry noises about his arm.

"What happened to my drink." I pouted at Sam who was in the middle of talking to Bonnie.

"My fault" Bonnie said loudly looking over at Damon, "Me and Sam just got talking and he's just so lovely."

Well she was transparent.

"Here" Sam said starting to put liquids together, " enjoy"

"Thank you darling." I sang, "Have you seen Jesse yet?"

"I haven't seen him anywhere." Sam said

"He's catching up with an old friend" Bonnie said vaguely dethatching herself from his side and walking past me.

"What friend?" I asked but she wasn't paying attention, she already had her hand in Damon shirt basically demanding his attention from Stefan.

"Wanna get reallllllllllly drunk?" I asked Sam holding up the vodka bottle. He laughed at me and took it out of my hand.

"I think were well on our way to drunk city."

"HERES MY NUMBER SO CALL ME MAYYYBEEE" Rachel sang at the top of her lungs then laughed as she stumbled into the fridge.

"Well she is." I told Sam and he nodded.

We had our own dance party in Santana's kitchen, the people trying to get from room to room getting caught up in it. One wrong sway of the hips and I ended up on the floor with Blaine.

"Why does this happen to me when I'm out with you, you're a jinx!" he giggled, trying to get up and falling on his side.

"At least I can stand!" I told him pushing myself up to quickly and stumbling backwards until I crashed into someone.

"Sorry" I choked out, while Blaine rolled around on the floor laughing.

Puck grunted something at me before he became attatched to Bonnie's mouth again.

"When did that happen?" I shouted, pointing my thumb over my shoulder at them. Blaine's attempt to stand was blown again he fell back on his ass howling with laughter at my confused face. Where was Damon then?

"What happens at costa del Lopez's stays at costa…yeah" Santana tried to tell me and then went back to making out with Matt. Stefan helped Blaine up and I wandered out of the kitchen.

Damon was back in the dance room, at the other side of the room talking with three other guys, beer in hand. His shirt had been opened fully now…had Bonnie done than that. A firey feeling licked over my skin and I wanted to go over and trail him back into the kitchen with our friends where he would sit with Stefan and not do anything.

But even though I was drunk, I wasn't that drunk…

I wandered out into the back garden.

"There you are" I exclaimed reaching for Jesse who'd was sitting on the patio steps.

"Hi" he said looking a bit distracted and taking a sip of his beer, I sat down beside him.

"Can we go back to yours now then" I whispered kissing his jaw.

"I can't drive."

"Lez get a taxi."

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked giving me a critical look.

"Not a lot." I brushed off sitting up straighter, "Besides don't start that again."

"You've ripped your dress."

I inspected the little frayed hole at the hem, "That was Blaine."

"Why was Blaine pulling your dress?" He said irritated.

I laughed, "I really don't think you have anything to be worried about."

"Of course not" he muttered taking a sip of his beer and staring off into the dark.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly reaching up to run my fingers through his curls but he pulled away from me, "What?"

"Nothing. I just need time to think." He said. Well I knew where I wasn't wanted.

"Okay, come find me your done thinking then…" I mumbled trying not to show how rejected I felt.

Walking back to the house I heard a girlish giggle that made my hair stand on end. Quinn and Tyler were sitting on a bench a little way off and she was clearly laughing at me. My fist clenched as she ducked under Tyler's chin, he shook his head at me as sympathising with me.

"When you're done with her put her throw her out on the curb where she belongs." I told Tyler and he rolled his eyes as Quinn snapped up straight to glare at me.

"Well it takes trash to know trash." She said and then she started giggling again. Jesse's hand appeared under my elbow and he pulled me back towards the house.

"She started it" I whined, because she did, I hated her.

"Grow up." He snapped at me and pulled out of his grip.

"Well why I go grow up, you sit in the garden and sulk like the ignorant jack ass you can be!" and I stormed towards the back door.

I made my way back into the music room and lifted an abandoned whiskey bottle from a table. Brittany had her shirt off and was dancing between two different guys but her attention turned elsewhere and she walked over to sit on the edge of the seat Damon was on talking to Jeremy. He smirked at her and she leaned back across the arm so their faces were almost touching. I took a swig of the bottle I was holding and tried not to spit it out everywhere.

Brittany coaxed Damon into dancing and eventually started kissing his neck and when she tried to go for his lips he turned his head. I wondered if what Santana said was true.  
Some guy started trying to flirt with me and I was half listening, I easily enticed him into dancing with me and not very conservitably either. When he got too handsy I glanced over his shoulder at Damon who was watching with an intense look on his face. I untangled myself from the guy and strolled back to the kitchen.

Rachel was talking animatedly to the girls that had made her rip her shirt with Santana. Stefan and Matt were arguing over some championship. I poured myself a drink that I'd actually like; just about…I split a lot on the counter. Arguing with Jesse had really put a damper on everything, it was going to push me to play with fire, so the plan was to lock myself away and get myself together.

The bathroom had a queue, and even if I got in there some idiot would bang on the door the whole time until I got out. I'm sure Santana wouldn't mind if I used her room, but I doubted the plain room I ended up in was hers. I finished applying my lip gloss at the small vanity and decided I'd rather go home than sit upstairs at a party and feel sorry for myself.

"God" I gasped in fright. Damon was standing in the dark doorway staring at me.

"You wanted me to see that." He said eventually, in a low voice.

"See what?" I asked almost panicked. Fire had followed me upstairs and was inviting me to play.

"You either want to be friends…" he said sauntering into the room with his eyes fixed on my face, "or you don't."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I babbled as he came to stand in front of me, his chest fully exposed, the little trail of hair disappearing into his waist band.

A shiver ran down my spine as he leaned forward so his forehead was touching mine and his breath fanned my cheek, "You can have both…" his finger started trailing down my sides.

"Why didn't you kiss Brittany?"

"I didn't want to kiss Brittany" he murmured against my lips. He waited for me to close the gap and like a magnetic pull I couldn't fight I did.

It was like a flame becoming a raging fire. The first kiss was soft and then it became more needy as hands tightened around my clothes and pulled me impossible closer to him and my finger fastened into his hair. His tongue swept along my bottom lip asking for entrance and I obliged with a soft moan.

"What is _this_?" A surprised voice inquired and then a bright flash went off in the room.

Jumping away from Damon's embrace I blinked trying to figure out what had just happened. Quinn was standing in the doorway with one of her little minions. I was so infuriated at being cockblocked and seeing her lips curl into a smile that I almost didn't notice the camera her little friend was holding.

-

And the crappy thoughtout plot thickens.

I don't own anyone but Niamh… and Damons shirt rights.

xo


	2. Chapter 2

There were about three hundred things wrong with my life, the fact I was a part of my life was a huge problem because I had feelings that didn't make sense and my brain liked to shut off when chemicals started whizzing around my body that gave me urges, urges like kissing Damon… urges like kissing Jesse. So there are so many things wrong with my life, like Quinn standing in front of me with a Nikon that could blow my life up in my face and all I could think about was how much her face annoyed me.

"What is it with you and camera's?" Damon demands, taking a subtle step so he was in front of me, effectively being a body between me and the crazy bitch.

"I like to capture the moment, I think that picture will say a thousand words." She says proudly.

"Oh I know you do, but I think it's a bit ambitious to say a thousand, your usual work evokes one train of thought" Damon replies. I've no idea what he's talking about, Quinn the secret photographer with her Nikon and windows live edits. Just thrilling.

I peer over his shoulder and I'm surprised to see Quinn giving him a very dark look and then her gaze switches to me and my shoulders instinctually stiffen.

"I think Jesse would have a few things to say."

"I have a few things to say!" I snap, starting towards and only for Damon to pull me into his side with a stern look.

"Now c'mon, what are we twelve?" Damon says quietly turning back to Quinn who gives him a sarcastic grin.

"I don't know, what could you possibly bribe me with?" she challenges.

Suddenly I really want to leave, like just want to run out and leave them to it. I don't want to hear what comes next, if he started flirting back I may have to hit him and kill her. There we go, feelings being irrational. Damon hand is resting light on my hips but it feels like it weighs a ton, I want to take it mine…so I fold my arms across my chest and glare at Quinn's tag-along.

"I'm getting really sick of this." Damon says, his voice laced with subdued anger. I glance up at him and his face is hard, no smirk, no sarcasm, "Delete the photo."

"I will, after I've shown it to Jesse first. I think he deserves to know. Shows her for what she is"

My heart hits the floor, oh God, he doesn't deserve to find out this. Damon's arm stiffens and his hands formed a fist at my hip.

"Don't push me." He responds dangerously.

She matches his expression and I can practically hear the fuse sizzling, who was going to explode first. The minions looking quite gleeful about the whole damn thing and is holding the camera … maybe I should just run at her.

"What the hell is going on?" Santana demands pushing her way into the room and blocking the doorway.

"None of your damn business" the minion says obnoxiously… is she stupid?

Santana looks her up and down the reaches out and the next thing the camera's hit the wall opposite.

"What the fuck Santana!" Quinn yells.

"Now it's my damn business, you're in my house, in my mama's room, in my neighbourhood, and I want you to get the fuck out!" She yells back, holding onto the dressing table for support as she points at them, "Now!"

The girl scurries out the door after a fraction of hesitation and Quinn follows her slowly, glaring at Santana. She says something to low for us to hear and with a smile on her face walks out, looking back at me and Damon. Obviously it's not over, when will it ever be over.

Santana closes the door after her and rounds on us.

"What's going on?" she says glowering at as both.

With the alcohol, with Quinn, with my fucking feelings, I suddenly feel really tired and sit down on the bed.

"Quinn taking it up a whole other notch or five." Damon mutters.

"I don't care about her" she snaps waving to the door then motioning to us, "but she was obviously kicking of about you two, again, now what's happened to have caused that. What the hells going on with you two?"

Now I definitely don't want to be here.

"What do you mean?"

Oh my God Damon do not play dumb because she will spell it out and I don't want to hear it.

"Back and forth, back and forth, we're all sick of it! All of us, do you think everyone's stupid? Now fucking sort it out!" and with that she slams the door behind her.

I blink, her angry face burned into my mind, what the hell was that about, _everyone's_ sick of it?  
I sink down onto her parent's bed and let my fingers dig into my scalp. I was going to have to do something, I was going to have to do something soon before the two parallels lines of Jesse and Damon collided and killed me. The bed dips beside and his arm presses against mine.

"Don't take any notice of her." He says softly.

"Bit hard not to" I scoff and then add quietly, "We need to sort this."

He sighs and I expect him to get up and leave.

"Alright."

My hands slid out of my hair and I clasp them in front of me and sit up. He's watching me intently, waiting for me to start, his face calm but there's something that gives me the feeling he's wary.  
He has the longest eyelashes, I hadn't noticed that before, my eyes drift downwards and trace the bow of his lips. How can one guy be so pretty, because he was pretty but he was also handsome, he could be anything.  
The corner of his mouth twitches.

"Keep that up and there will be no talking at all."

He looks amused and I looks away again to my clasped hands.

"Right so…" I begin, but can't continue, I try to think. He floor vibrates slightly to the music from downstairs and I feel too warm.  
Nobody would be able to hear us.

"What do you want Niamh?" Damon asks his voice quiet and completely serious.

"What do you want?" I reflect.

He sighs and leans forward with his hands clasped around his beer bottle, "I've already made a proposal, your move."

Oh yeah, the best of both worlds thing. Well it as tempting but I'm not Hannah Montanah, I couldn't keep it up.

"I don't think I can do that."

"Thought not." He replies and he gives me a small smile, "Well it was fun while it lasted."

Oh this was it. This was it ending, completely. The realisation leaves everything in my head screaming no as he stands up. I scramble up after him so I'm between him and the door.

I can't coax him to look at me with my gaze, his head bent slightly, he looks defeated.

I'm not sure what to say or do so I just wrap my arms around his waist and hug him. I've never hugged Damon, maybe no one has and that's why he stands immobile, frozen. Then his shoulders shift and his hands rest lightly on my lower back and we melt into it. I feel like I fit here, like I don't want to leave and I wouldn't but the difference is, I know he would. So I make the most of it and turn my head into his neck, breathing how he smells.

So easily the mood shifts, and he's tugging my head back while his hand splays out over my back pinning me to him.

"Just so you know" he murmurs, "I think your pretty amazing and I'll always be around if you need me."

What can I say?

He presses his lips against mine slowly, and it's a quiet kiss, an intense kiss, a good bye kiss.  
One hand finds itself in his hair, fastening to it and whilst the other clings to his shoulder. When we break away I have to fight myself, to let my hand fall from his shoulder and to let go, but I can't leave the room and as usual, Damon walks away first.

I just stand there for a while, feeling like I was losing something and imagining something inside me breaking down with the distance he put between us, something that would finally settle as dust.  
Why did I feel like this when I never had anything to begin with?  
My eyes glaze over, heavy with tears.

"Niamh?" Santana calls softly from behind me.

I don't have the energy to turn around, so she comes to me and leads me to the bed and puts her arm around me.

"I think you're an idiot just for the record."

"How'd you figure that? He doesn't want the same thing as I do, it's all physical."

Santana's biting her lip and seems to be deciding something, "And you want Jesse? That's what you want."

I think about it.

"No." I sigh and the tears fall.

She tuts, "It's my party, I cry if I want to, not you. You can beat Quinn, that's about it."

I let out a short laugh and wipe my face as Rachel swings the door open.

"What's going on?... and who's camera's that?"

*

Ten minutes later, with freshly applied make-up, Rachel's leading me back downstairs with Santana in tow. I feel slightly better, but that's because they've been distractive but it doesn't matter either way because now I have to find Jesse, and say goodbye to him to.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asks as we reach the kitchen, Rachel already in Jeremy's arms and Santana bitching at Matt about something.

"Not really" I murmur and give a weak smile, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay… well I'm not too good myself, Stefan left."

"Oh?"

"It was weird. He was outside talking to that blonde from earlier and Jesse, then Damon came out of nowhere and things looked to be getting really heated. Then he left and Santana went off with Damon."

"What was it about?"

"No idea, they were out back, I was watching through the window." He says, smirking smugly at his detective work and sticking his thumb over his shoulder to the glass that reflecting the kitchen.

"I'll be right back" I murmur reaching up and kissing his cheek. I turn and make my way to the back garden. Sure enough I find Jesse and a blonde girl, the one that wanted to talk to Stefan earlier. There's a niggling in my head, I'm missing something.

They don't notice me at first, she's sitting on the ground and he's standing looking over her. There's something about it I don't like.

"Talk to me Li" he says softly, it sounds affectionate.

"I have nothing to say." She exhales and after a beat adds, "I don't even hate you anymore, I'm indifferent, I honestly don't care that you exist anymore. You ruined everything."

"But he knows now."

"Doesn't change anything, does it?" she snaps, "Thank god I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Um, Jesse." I call, interrupting the almost pained look he's giving her.  
Both their heads snap in my direction. His eyes dart from me to her and he opens his mouth but she cuts him off by standing up and waving him off. She strides past me without and word and disappears into the house while Jesse stares after her.  
…He looks how I felt upstairs.

It just helps me finalise what I'm about to do.

"Who was that?" I ask.

"A friend" he says to the ground.

Yeah right.

"I think that what we should be." I say and watch his head snap up.

"What?" he says face creased with confusion.

I don't have the energy to draw it out with all the sprinkles, its pulling a band aid off. Maybe it's selfish, I don't care.

"We both know this isn't for the long haul" I reason, "You barely get on with my friends and I don't feel as strongly as I should about you. I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry."

"What did he say to you?" Jesse demands taking a step forward, his eyes blazing.

"No one's said anything to me." I defend and wonder if he's a scitzo as well as bi-polar.

"So you just led me on?" he grits.

"No! Oh c'mon Jesse, this can't be just one sided. I mean I seen the way you were looking at her" I gesture to the back door.

He look at it for a minutes before he smiles, "You're absolutely right."

I feel uneasy at the look on his face, there's something menacing hid under that smile.

"I mean, I want to go try my hand in Seattle and this wouldn't work out long term. I mean, your just a kid."

There it is.

He smiles at me, waiting for me to react but I don't bite.

"I had a lot of fun with you, I hope we can still be friends."

"Ofcourse" he smiles walking forward, "See ya around."

He breezes right past my shoulder and disappears.

The music's not as thumpy, someone might have turned it down, mellow classics drifting out of the house, infused with low chatter and laughter.

"Dick." I mutter and shake my head feeling a load lift from my shoulders.

I almost float back into the house. Blaine hands me a drink and puts his arm around me, things might actually be alright.

I have sufficiently reached my limit. I am drinking no more and am in vital need of a gallon of iced water. Something trips me up as I leave the bathroom and I curse it and its stupidity. I glance down the stair case as a few people trickle out the door yelling their goodbyes at the small amount of people left in the hall, it must be at least 3am.  
I want to go to bed.  
I can't go home like this.  
I hold onto the wall for balance as I make my way to the little room I was in earlier. Melancholy stings as I look around and the scene from earlier coming back, what if stupid Crazy Barbie hadn't interrupted, I could have spent the whole night in here with Damon.  
.  
Stupid bitch, I hate her. She didn't even have the manners to leave after that whole thing; Matt had to have a word with at Tyler to make them go before Santana took her head off. All the while she stood and flirted with Jacob, who is disgusting… how do people end up disgusting, can you be born disgusting? Dunno.

I flop down heavily on to the bed and begin navigation of the shoe straps, fuckers, why did I wear them.

There's a creak at the door and a prickle runs down my spine. I look up blearily to see Jacob at the door.  
I blink, surely this isn't real, I've already passed out and this is a bad dream. Why the fuck didn't I lock the door?

"Tired?" he asks, his voice seems to clear cut and makes my hair stand on end.

I exercise my tongue around my mouth and scrape my bottom lip with my teeth, trying to encourage them to work right.

"Yes I am. Please excuse me I want to go to sleep, Bye bye."

I think I've done quite well, no slurring, so why is he still standing there. I glare at him.

"Mmm it's nice and quiet up here, away from all the noise. Wouldn't be disturbed." He said meaningfully and I feel my heart fall through the floor.

"Well if you're looking for some time up you should stay up here, I need to get back to my friends." I say and try to pull myself up.

"I'm your friend" he said shrugging off the wall and pulling the door over, "stay up here with me"

"No you're not." I state clearly as my body will allow, now trying to scurry around the other side of the bed.

"Well let's get to know each other then." He said stalking closer.

"What are doing up here all alone?" he said slowly running his eyes over me in a way that makes me want to vomit.

"I told you! I wanted to go to bed, so will you please go away!" I shout.

He was smirking at me and for the first time I noticed how big he really was, his frame was filling out the whole doorway. I couldn't even find it in myself to shout to the people I could hear on the landing waiting for the bathroom. We started at each other, I felt like a trapped animal waiting for the predator to tear me apart. The fear is like a cold shower, almost sobering me up.

"That's not nice." He says flatly.

"Well I don't like you!" I say nastily but it doesn't seem to have the desired effect. His sneer becomes more pronounced.

He starts walking around the bed, "You don't know me" he protests.

My foot hits the bedside drawers so the lamp shakes, "I don't want to know you."

"You're hurting my feelings" he sounds angry now and he's almost within arms distance.

Fight or flight.

My knees hit the thick duvet and I'm scrambling over the kings sized bed. I get one foot on the floor as his wrist locks around my other ankle and pulls hard so I lose my balance and hit my left shoulder hard on the floor. My voice finally begins to work and I start shouting and scramble to my feet, but he's fast his chest collides with my back and I'm knocked to the floor again with his weight pinning me.

"Help!" I scream, terror running through my veins like liquid and hardening, dread weighing me down.

He flips me around so I'm caught between his knees, his teeth are bared and he slams his meaty palm down over my mouth as I thrash. Finally my fist connects with his Achilles heel, knocking the air out of him so he releases me and I try and crawl out from under him but it just seems to make him angrier.  
A resounding crack rings out through the room and the floor and ceiling tip, everything's fuzzy and I can't find the ground.

"That made you shut up." he growls.

I need to find the ground, I need to get away because he's still here, I can smell him and I think I'm about to be sick. I register the rough feel of the carpet against my cheek, it comes into focus and its cream. Callous finger skim over my skin and all the fear rises in my again.

"Please stop." I plea and try and bat him away and cry when his wet mouth fastens under my ear. My eyes are bleary and my hands are pinned under me, so I can't clear them to see who breaks the lock on the door with a loud bang. The room freezes for a second but a sob rushes out my throat into the silence, the gun shot that sets everything off.

Someone's knocked Jacob weight off me and their voice is completely livid and unstable but I need to get out. I scramble to my feet and fall into the dressing table so pain radiates through my arm and I fling myself towards the door where I collide into someone.  
I try and run past them but they've lock their arms around me.

"Niamh, Niamh!" Damon's voice cuts through the hysteria and I freeze. He looks bewildered, his eyes trained on me as his head turns and reluctantly his casts a look into the room. Sam has Jacob pinned against the wall, his mouth all bloody as Sam has his forearm against his throat and delivers his other fist into his stomach so he sinks to the floor.  
Damon looks back down at me and then back into the room and then his completely closes off, becomes a dark mask with angles and hard eyes. Then it's me holding onto him as he tries to step into the room.

"Damon I just want to go, please can we go." I beg.

"What going on?" Matt demands looking anxious running up the stairs.

"Damon please!" I plead as Jacob moans and starts moving at Sam's feet, who looks beyond fury.

"What the hell." Matt gapes when he reaches the doorway, a few other people are looking curiously up the stairway.

"Damon!" I urge shoving him.  
He rips his gaze away from Jacob and down at me, I don't know if he is actually seeing me, he's expressionless, just a mask. I try to push him out of my way put he pulls me under his arm and begins guiding me down the stairs. I cling to him and bury my face in his chest. The cold air rushes over us and he hold me to him tighter, I can't see where were going and I don't care, I'm safe now, Damon's got me and were leaving.  
He only lets me go when he puts me into the driver's seat and my chest becomes tight, until he gets in the driver's side and pulls me into his side while he puts the seat belt around me.

I have never been so grateful for anyone in all my life. My fingers trace patterns over his shirt to remind me he's here, that the warmth under his shirt is his, it's him I'm here with now and I'm okay. His arm flexes around me now and I like to think he's reminding himself the same thing.

When the car stops I glance up from my haven, he's driven to his house. Its quiet, his free hand is griping the steering wheel so his knuckles are white. Without a word he unbuckles my seat belt and gets out, I wrap my arms around myself as he comes around the other side of the car and opens the door. He pulls me to him again and leads me inside.

He doesn't turn on any lights and guides me upstairs. When we get to his room he turns on the light and leads me into his bathroom I hadn't realise he had. He makes me sit down at the edge the bath as he starts running water over a flannel in the sink and then crouches down in front of me.

"You're so pale" he murmurs.

I feel numb and watch his face as he carefully put the warm flannel to my face. I flinch from the stinging sensation over my top lip.

He inhales heavily and his jaw tightens.

"Your mad." I breathe.

He eyes flash to mine from the cut I imagine I have, and they harden, "I'm not mad." He says quietly, "I'm furious."

He looks away and then takes a breath to steady himself before taking my chin in one hand and gently prodding the flannel against it again. After a while the sting becomes bearable but I never flinch again, just watch him as he concentrates on what he's doing.

"I thought you'd left." I whisper.

"I left Stefan home." he replies .

"After he talked to that blonde girl and Jesse."

He looks up at me, "Yes."

I wait for him to go on but he doesn't.

"I broke up with Jesse." I mumble.

"Good" he sighs simply and throws the flannel behind him, "I'm going to go get you water and some pain killers."

His gently pulls my chin up so I'm not staring at the floor, "Are you okay?"

I just stare at him, "I don't know."

"What can I do?"

"Can I stay here?"

He frowns, "Of course."

"Can I take a shower, I feel…wrong." I mumble and look away.

"Of course" he repeats and I nod, "I'll get you some things to change into."

He stares at me for a moment and reaches out an runs his finger lightly over where it hurts and exhales heavily again.

"I'm okay." I mutter and he nods.

He turns the shower on for me and says he'll be right outside and pulls the door over gently behind him leaving me alone.

I strip off and get in the shower, none of this seems real. Damon then Jesse then Jacob…Sam bursting, what if Sam hadn't burst in and completely come to my rescue and what was happening now, we just left. Santana and Rachel must be freaking out. What about Jacob…what would they do about him…what if Sam hadn't got there…  
I can't breathe and the rooms too big, I feel too exposed. I wrap my arms around myself and sink to the floor. There's a gentle knocking on the door before it crack open a fraction and Damon's arm delivers some folded clothes through.

"Damon"

"Yeah?" I can see his reflection in the mirror, he has his head bent behind the door to give me my privacy. I almost don't ask because I don't want to make him uncomfortable but I really need this.

"Can you come in here please?" My voice is so small I don't know how he hears over the water.

I see him frown through the mirror.

"What do you mean?" He asks slowly.

I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, "I don't want to be on my own."

He pauses before coming in, head still bent and closing the door behind him. The room immediately feels more balanced. He undresses without looking at me, facing the door, when he finally glances over at me in just his boxers his face crumples with concern.  
I stare at him from the floor. I glance down at my arm am stunned, I hadn't realised I was shaking.  
Then he'd crouching beside me, pulling me to my feet and folding me into his arms and I never want to leave. I can finally feel how warm the water is. Damon kisses my forehead and smoothes a hand over my hair and out of nowhere, everything catches up with me and I can't stop crying.

There's no inhibitions or embarrassment, I feel strange yes, almost on auto-pilot but him near me, or I'll feel uneasy, to the point I almost panic. I can't let go of him the whole time in the shower, and he holds me to his chest while his other hand runs the soapy scrunchie over my back, keeping safe areas. We don't speak. When I'm all cried out and content against his should he turns the water off and reaches for a towel that he wraps around me, it's huge.

"There" he murmurs softly.

"What happened to your hand?" I ask trying to reach for it through the thick towel. His knuckles are an irritated red around raw skin.

"I punched the wall."

I immediately want to start crying again but he rests his forehead against mine, "Don't worry about it."

"What do I do?" I' m really lost, do I phone Santana, do I phone the police, do I phone my mom?

"Worry about it tomorrow morning, you've nothing to worry about right now. " he says firmly, "Do you want anything to eat or tea?"

I shake my head.

"Painkillers then bed" he says and kiss my head softly, "I'll let you get dressed."

He leaves and I dress quickly, when I leave the bathroom he's already changed out of his wet boxer shorts to black sweat pants and his chest bare.

"I can sleep in another room if you want."

"No" I say quickly, "please."

He hands me a pain killer, my face doesn't feel that bad but I take it anyway with the water he's holding before climbing into his bed. He turns out the light and gets in with me, but we're not touching and I don't like it.

"You're too far away" I mutter and he shifts, closing the 30 centimetres between us. Lying on his side he drapes his arm over me.

I feel very tired, and safe, and warm and I exhale. He draws little patterns between my shoulder blades.

"Thank you." I murmur after a while.

"For what?" I can hear him frowning, I think he's frowned more tonight than I've ever seen. Giving the smirk a run for its money.

"For taking care of me."

He takes in a deep breath and I know he's annoyed, "What else would I do."

"I could have just gone home…"

He sighs, "I didn't mean it like that, I mean it's the least I could have done. Besides I wouldn't have let you go home…I need you here."

"Why." I mumble, I'm so tired.

"I need to know your okay…and partly so I don't do anything stupid."

I try to say something like 'what' but it comes out a mumbled sigh.

"Go to sleep. I'm here." He whispers and his breath tickles my cheek.

I own nothing expect for Niamh

oh there will be revenge….


	3. Full circle

When I wake there's no left over dreams staining my conscience, I don't know if I dreamt at all or I'm too distracted by the rising and falling of his chest under my cheek or maybe from the patterns he's drawing on my back again. I wonder what they'd show if there was some way to uncover them. Nonsense probably.  
I lie there for a little while and feign sleep because it feels so nice.

"I know you're awake." He says softly.

I smile because of how sweet everything is, but my lip stings and the bitterness sinks in. Jacob attacked me. Sam attacked Jacob and Damon brought me home, showered with me, and held me all night. Guess if you had to look for a silver lining that would be it.

"I'm quite comfortable." I mumble. His fingers pause on my back before setting into their drunken pattern again.

"Well I hate to be the one to break it to you but we have a few things to deal with." He murmurs.

I frown at his tone and peek up from his chest. He's staring at the ceiling and there are purple smudges under his eyes, I push myself up onto my elbow and his hand stops again.

I attentively put my finger tips on his chest the reality of the morning washing over me, it wasn't welcome. His touch is the only thing that felt real…I didn't want to let the rest of the world in, I didn't know how I was supposed to feel or what unsuspecting state was waiting to take over. So I remained slightly numb, slightly dreamy, Damon my only sense of reality.

"What should I do?" I ask reluctantly.

He sits up and pushes me back down into the bed simultaneously; leaning on his forearm he looks down at me. I feel fragile and I like he's above me like a protective canopy.

"If it were up to me" he murmurs, a fingertip grazing my cheek, "we'd stay in here all day."

"Why can't we?"

His jaw clenches and he sighs, "There are a few things to take care of."

"Can it wait a little while?" I murmur placing my fingertips back on his chest and letting them wander. The atmosphere of the room changes, reality completely eclipsed. He catches my hand when it reaches his hip.

I stare at his conflicted face, tension mounting with every breath I take so I reach up and kiss him lightly. He hesitates before he kisses me back and it's like rapid fire, one of his hand slides down to my waist. I want to feel his weight on me, one of his knees nudges my legs apart so he's basically hovering over me and I want to feel his skin on mine. I try wiggling out of his shirt but he stop me.

"I don't think it's a good idea." He murmurs against my lips and gives my hands a gentle squeeze.

What? Just because some disgusting, vile, scumbag tried to force himself on me it means we can't? Does he think I'm emotionally traumatized and if we have sex I'll have a complete breakdown? …. Maybe he just doesn't want to, maybe Jacobs tainted me in some way and Damon doesn't want me anymore…

The thought hit me and I feel my face fall at the same moment Damon leans up to look down at me.

"Hey" he soothes running his thumb over my bottom lip that's moulded into a pout, "just not right now."

"But I want to." I sound more offended than I like. A feeling runs down my spine that makes me want to run from the room away from his scrutiny.

He smirks, "And you think I don't?"

The feeling vanishes and is replaced, I suddenly feel shy.

"I always want you" he murmurs kissing my neck and my eyes drift closed, "especially when you're in my shirt, I like you in my shirt."

"I should wear your shirts more often, you don't need them." I giggle and he hums in response.

"My shirts and nothing else" he agrees reaching the base of my throat and kissing down where there are a few buttons open. I pull him back up and kiss him.

"You can't do that, it's not fair."

"Why, is it frustrating?"

"You're frustrating" I huff.

"I know its fun." He smirks.

"I can be frustrating." I challenge and push him and his smirk aside.

I start kicking off his sweatpants and watch his smirk fall off his face as he watches, his shirts quite short when I'm lying down.

"Frustrated?" I tease. He blinks and looks at me with such a confounded expression I laugh and he's braced over me again, his lips on mine.

"Evil." He mutters and kisses me again, his reluctance melting away. I let out a gasp when he allows himself to let go a little bit and lowers his weight onto me. The effect takes me by surprise, hot tingles run all over me and blood rushes through my ears. I want to wrap myself around him like ivy. He groans when I hitch my leg over his hip, flexing and pinning him where it feels good. His hand runs down my naked thigh and my fingers rake over his back. When I free my other leg from the duvet and hitch it around him too his tongue dips into my mouth and I savour the moment. When his hand drifts over the side of my exposed panties he takes a deep breath, his shirt has rode up around my waist, were poised right on the edge and I hold my breath waiting for us to tip us over.

"Such a dent in myself control." He mutters and kisses me lightly and then starts untangling himself.

I run my hands over my face and try to get a grip on myself, pulling his shirt down as far as I can.

Damon lies next me with his arm flung across his face breathing heavily.

"Frustrated?" I ask.

"Evil" he replies.

I turn on my side and plump the pillow up under my head and watch him.

"Thank you"

He peers out from under his arm, "You don't need to thank me."

All the desire and pulsing lust drains away, poised waiting to spring again I'm sure.

He turns on his side to face me and gently runs his thumb over the tender area of my mouth, "sore?"

"A little. Does it look bad?"

"Just a little cut, its more red around it." As he stares at my bottom lip his face falls into that impassive mask he was wearing when I woke up.

"Didn't you sleep?"

"No."

"Why?"

His jaw clenches, "Too wound up."

"Didn't punching the wall help?"

"Not in the slightest." He replies.

I frown and he takes in my expression, "If you hadn't of made me leave I would have killed him, I know I would have."  
I stare at him wide eyed and he stares back steadily, he's being serious and I feel frightened of what could have happened. I swallow, I don't know what I should say, he would have killed Jacob if I hadn't have made him leave, killed him for what he tried to do. I pull his arm away and shuffle into its circle.

"I just need to know your okay, your safe." He says quietly.

"I feel safe with you." I mumble and he kisses the top of my head.

Damon's phone vibrates on the side drawer.

"That'll either be Santana or Rachel or Matt or Sam or Jeremy…maybe Stefan."

"That's a wide enough pool for you to be right." I grin and he forces a smile.

His phone vibrates again and he leans over and grabs it.

He smirks at the screen before answering, "Too lazy to walk across the hall?"

Stefan then, he mutters something that makes Damon's smirk more profound.

"No, we've been good. Well I have, she's insatiable"

I elbow his ribs in unison with Stefan's dismayed reply. Damon chuckles and curls his arms around me, stopping anymore attacks. I roll my eyes at his smirk and put my head on his chest and try not to think about Stefan's approach at contacting us, thinking he had to give us a wide birth of privacy encase we were up to something.

"Well you brought it up." He replies to his brother and then pauses, "then she did…"

"Damon!" I yell in shock and grab the pillow and hit him as hard as I can. Stefan's voice can vaguely be heard groaning at his brother's vulgarity. Whatever Stefan next makes Damon's playfulness disappear and his face becomes blank as he listens.

"We'll be down soon." And he hangs up.

Damon reaches down for the sweat pants and hands them to me, "Put these back on."

I don't argue and do as I'm told.

"What going on?"

"Because I was ignoring everyone's phone calls and allowing you to sleep everyone's being courteous enough to invite themselves over."

"Everyone?" I ask bewildered.

"You have a lot of people who worry about you." He replies climbing out of his huge bed Honestly what kind is it? The Kings mothers size?

"Why is your bed so big?" I ask and he looks amused.

"The bigger the better" he winks and I roll my eyes.

"Hey!" I call when he starts towards the door and he quirks his eyebrow as I scramble out of his huge bed.

"What?"

"If I have to wear sweat pants you have to wear a shirt." I say snatching one up from the floor and holding it out to him. He looks at them to me and I put on my no negotiation face.

"Next you'll have a whip." He grins wickedly at me and takes the t-shirt.

"Maybe I will." I say bravely and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I skip past him and start down the many, many stairs in the Salvatore household. When I reach the last flight of stairs voices drift up from the living room and I pause. I can hear…Rachel…Matt…Jeremy, what the hell? Does everyone know? Oh my god I don't want everyone to know! Or have them asking me questions about how I am and making a spectacle of it, how embarrassing. I trace the small pucker of wound on my lip, I want to go try and cover it, but if it doesn't cover well it will just look amplified.  
Damon's arm slides around my shoulder in comfort and he stands next to me on the step, I can feel him looking at me.

He sighs, "This is what happens when you're just too damn lovable." I frown up to him and he raises his eyebrows, "Means they come in droves."

"I'm embarrassed." I say shifting uncomfortable and moving into his side.

"They just want to be here for you" he says rubbing my arm up and down.

That would be comforting if it wasn't so off kilter. I lean back and peer up at him with a critical expression.

"What?" he says defensively.

"Since when did you become so understanding and okay with social gatherings?"  
I actually feel him roll his eyes, "What can I say? You bring out the tolerance in me."

"You mean the best."

"Don't get cocky." He admonishes and then swats my ass when I grin. The short sequel I let out doesn't go unnoticed as silence follows from the living room.

"C'mon." he says and leads me down. I try and hide the mark on my face as my fingers run over my bottom lip.

As we hit the marble floor of the lobby everyone's head turns toward us from the leather couches in the living area and I move closer to Damon's body. Santana catches my eye, she has her arms folded and her eyes are narrowed, she's radiating hell has to be paid. Rachel's like a coiled spring on the edge of her seat that finally releases, she pulls me down into her tiny embrace.

"Rachel I'm fine." I murmur but when she pulls back she has tears down her face.

"I just, what could have happened…" and she starts sobbing.

"I'm going to make coffee." Damon says and Jeremy, Matt and Stefan all think it's necessary to help with the mega task

I navigate Rachel to the Sofa and we curl up, her sobbing and me rubbing her back and wondering why it isn't me breaking down.

"Sorry" she hiccups pulling away and whipping out a hanky.

"Does your mom know yet? I'll be there if you need me, hold your hand for moral support." She says wiping her eyes.

"No my mom doesn't know yet." I say quietly and feel alarmed when I catch Santana's eye. She's literally seething on the couch opposite, arms and legs folded glaring at me. I swallow and icy dread spills down my spine. I can't even muster up the courage to speak to her, encase she explodes. Does she blame me for what happened? Do I blame me? I was pretty wasted…

"Santana I'm sorry" I blurt out, making Rachel still her movements and stare at me.  
Santana's eyebrow quirks in surprise.

"You're sorry?" she repeats quietly and my eyes begin to pool with tears. There's a golf ball lodged in my throat and I can't form words around the pain it causes so all I can do it nod.

"What are you sorry for?" Rachel whispers astounded.

"I was so drunk and he'd been creepy around me before and-" I can't speak anymore, it hurts to more and I wipe my eyes on Damon's sleeve.

"You think I'm angry at you?" she says quietly, her tone cracked and threatening to spew lava. All I can do is nod.

"How could you think I'm angry at you?" she says leaning forward and staring me in the eye and I shrug wiping more tears away, Rachel puts her arm around me.

"I am fucking furious with him." She says even quieter and then she's on her feet and yelling, "How fucking dare he! In my fucking house! To my fucking friend! HOW FUCKING DARE HE?"

She stands there vibrating with anger and then her voice cracks, "How dare he…" and she shakes her head as anger ebbs away and her face crumples. Then Santana's crying, and Rachel's crying and I'm crying and she climbs in between us.

"I shouldn't have let him in my house" she sobs, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." I tell her fiercely.

After we've exhausted ourselves she mutters about the coffee and we laugh shortly through our sobs.

"What happened when me and Damon left? What happened with Sam?" I ask and I sound like I have a head cold.

"I have never seen Sam like that, I couldn't even imagine Sam mad." Rachel says.

"Matt's furious too, but he gets all quiet and doesn't speak…" Santana murmurs.

"You left with Damon and I didn't realise, like, Matt didn't tell us because he was trying to keep Jacob in the room and Sam in his right mind." Santana explains, "The this one" she points at Rachel, "Went ballistic and through a lamp at him and ran around the house and the street looking for you."

"Sorry I didn't call." I apologise feeling awful that they'd been left to deal with it all and the aftermath.

"Apology only just accepted" Santana mutters and Rachel flexes her arms around me.

"I think they're making breakfast" Rachel comments as there noises that suspiciously sound like clanging pots coming from the kitchen.

"Obviously heard me shouting and buying themselves some time" Santana says.

"I couldn't find Jesse, and he wasn't answering his phone…" Rachel tells me cautiously.

"I broke up with him and he left." I reply bluntly.

"You broke up with Jesse?" Santana says surprised.

"…And you're at Damon's house" Rachel prods and I can feel Santana glare at her over my shoulder.

"He took care of me." I murmur and a small smile blossoms on my face.

"Yeah thanks for letting us know." Santana snips and I apologise again to which she shrugs. "All the guys basically threatened to kill Jacob, and after Sam riling on him I'm not sure he was conscious enough to let his pea sized, battered brain take it in."

"So did he go home or…?" I hadn't given a lot of thought to what would have happened afterwards, I'd stayed in my bubble with Damon and only given thought to the incident. Not what happened after, not what happens now… The thought of Jacob out, roaming around freely and able to run into me anytime made me feel sick and my chest gets tight.

"I don't know how he managed it but Matt drove him home…Waited in the car and watched him crawl into his house." Santana says disgustedly her face glazing over in anger.

"How can someone be so…vile!" Rachel cries and wipes her eyes, "He's evil, he has something evil in him."

"Everyone okay?" Matt asks cautiously, standing on the edge of the living room. His baby blue eyes are so sincere and worried I can't help but feel guilty for bringing this on my friends.

"We're fine baby." Santana tells him taking my hand and he viably relaxes, I want to tell him thank you or hug him or something but I feel it's unnecessary. He gives a light hearted smile and ambles back to the kitchen where the guys come back carrying trays of food and coffee.

"Shut up" Damon tells Santana playfully as she eyes him with a laden tray and shit eating grin.

"When did you get so domestic?" She mocks sounding like her old self, it's unnerving seeing Santana emotional. He rolls his eyes and settles on the arm of the opposite couch next to Stefan.  
Everyone starts picking at the toast, bacon and fruit. I lean my chin on my knee and catch Damon eyeing me, he mouths 'eat' and I shake my head. His mouth presses into straight line.

"Not to put pressure on you are anything but what are you going to do Niamh?" Jeremy says around his food and everyone's eyes land on me.

"I'll take you down to the police station after you eat something." Damon answers, popping a grape in his mouth.

"I think you should tell your parents first." Rachel interjects.

"Has anyone talked to Sam?" I reflect.

"I did." Stefan says mildly, "He was just worried about you and if Santana was gonna be mad at him for chipping her moms dressing table."

"My mom's mad as hell" Santana drawls and adds to my apprehensive look, "Not about what happened, I didn't tell her, she just think I had a party and busted some furniture."

"I'll pay for the lamp." Rachel murmurs.

"Good." Santana replies.

"I'll never be able to look at him again, I mean you think you know someone…" Matt says hanging his head and shaking it.

"Guys its fine, don't feel bad the blames not on any of you" I state clearly because it's evident everyone was able to twist the situation to blame themselves.

"Because Sam got there in time." Damon says harshly.

"Damon don't."

"No you don't! Don't say its fine, it's nothing but fine!"

"Damon" Stefan warns.

"What?" he snaps, "She's making it seems like it's not as bad as it is!"

"And you're helping?" Santana glowers, "reel it in."

Damon's pushes off the couch and stalks off to the stairs.

Where the fuck did that come from?

Stefan sighs and shakes his head at me, "Don't worry about it."

A sandwich is shoved under my nose and Rachel has her no nonsense face on so I gingerly take it from her and pick at it. Everyone starts talking about what kind of action would be taken against Jacob and a part of me just wants to shut off any knowledge of it, go upstairs and get under the covers with Damon. I think about how I'd got about this situation… telling my mom and dad, explaining to the police about Santana's underage party, with underage drinking that surely would get her and her family into trouble… and then Sam. From what I've heard Sam didn't stop when me and Damon left, beat Jacob to a pulp… what if he got persecuted for that?

"If we go down to the station…I have to tell them I was at an underage party, with underage drinking and wouldn't Sam get in trouble." I think aloud and the chatter trails off and I stare at the table as I speak, "If Jacobs been beaten up pretty badly maybe he'd learnt his lesson…"

"What are saying?" Rachel asks slowly.

I take a deep breath, "I'm not going to go to the police."

"Are you serious?" Stefan asks astounded and I can feel the surprise radiating off everyone.

"Don't worry about me" Santana says fiercely turning towards me, "this is so much more important than a fine or whatever they'll slap on it."

"How can we prove it Santana?" I burst out, "Honestly, in cases where it does go too far they can hardly prove it, he could just say Sam lost it because he was hitting on me!"

"Don't be stupid." Santana snaps, "You have to do this."

"What if he tries it again with someone else…" Matt begins but I get off the sofa and stride back to the stairs, away from their disapproval, away from the guilt and the shame. When I reach Damon's room he's in the shower so I just crawl under his covers and close my eyes.

When I come out of my doze there's someone pressed against my back, their arm wrapped around me and kissing my ear. A wet tendril of hair brushes against my cheek. I turn in his arms and feel at peace under the white sheet sky, the tension or pressure I felt downstairs absent.

"You have to go to the police." He says.

"I know." I sigh softly.

…..

Two weeks later my faith in justice and nearly humanity had been sucked from the world.  
The worst alternative did happen, the police didn't think there was enough evidence, as well as issuing Santana's family a fine and Sam being given a warning for assault. Jacob got off looking like the victim and it physically took Matt and Stefan to force Damon to remain in the house and hide his car keys to not go after Jacob. Damon's dad then got involved and I have no idea what he said, but Damon now quietly seethed like a volcano that had been blocked from exploding.  
On top of that everyone in school knew and it was impossible to tell whose side they were on, whispers followed me everywhere and ended with panic attacks in the toilets.

Some people believed my side, or what they'd heard of my side whilst most rallied around Jacob calling me a liar and I had none other than Quinn to thank for that. It took Matt, Stefan and Puck to hold Santana back that time.  
Quinn vouched for Jacob, made a statement that I'd drank far too much and was seeking Jacob out, Tyler then vouched for Quinn's statement and Matt got after school detention for a week for punching him .  
My rents wanted me to leave school, what a blazing argument that was.  
I didn't want them to think they'd won, even though every single day it felt that way.  
All that held me together was the circle I had around me, it was finally clear what friendship was and who had such good in them that they were willing to subject themselves to suffering. Matt, Puck, Damon, Stefan and Sam quit the football team and the school forfeited out of the championships which didn't go down well. Stefan got more abuse than ever, Damon punched more walls, I cried a lot when I thought no one could hear.

I've never felt so guilty and helpless in all my life. I couldn't wrap my mind around how the universe could allow this to happen, letting Jacob away with what he did I can understand but to have my friend subjected to all these abuse and criticism I couldn't wrap my head around and I felt so responsible for it all.

"Stop fucking blaming yourself!" Damon shouted at me one night when I'd snuck around to his house. He immediately apologised and pulled me into his lap. His frustration was at breaking point, he was feeling the pressure on me and on Stefan and feeling powerless is something Damon wasn't handling well.

There was one person who was making me feel like I had a grip above this thing, like if we were all caught in the whirl pool of chaos on ground level, there was one person above it who made me feel like coming to school was the right thing to do.  
Mr. Schue refused to have Jacob in his classes at all and there was rumour he'd even come to blows with Mrs. Sylvester and the principle. He also made it clear I should come to him if I received any abuse of anyone, it was easier said than done but I appreciated it all the same.

The third week after the incident, it felt like I'd been set up as the centre of a specific joke, the poster girl for alcohol awareness week. Santana was actively my bodyguard against the snide jokes and the giggles of girls who thought siding with Quinn would add glamour and acceptance to their lives. I felt myself just crumbling from within, piece by piece.

"And I would like to remind everyone of the special assembly tomorrow regarding alcohol awareness amongst the youth today. That is all." Mr. Figgins voice cuts off and the chatter of the room grows.

"Something has to be done." Santana says distractedly, focusing her glare on two girls who were glancing at us and giggling.

I let my hair fall in a curtain, blocking my face from their view.

"Think we just have to let it go." My voice is weak and eerie. How long had I been speaking like that?

Santana stares at me for a long time before going back to her essay but I don't think she was concentrating on it, but rather the cogs in her head were whirring for a different reason. Ten minutes later she throws down her pen and pulls out her mobile and begins typing away furiously. I don't have the energy to ask her about it.

When the final bell goes Santana turns to me, "Your okay walking out by yourself ?"

Anxiety twists in my stomach but I nod anyway, Damon would be waiting for me outside in his car, I could make it to there. She dashes off and I linger, letting everyone else in the school get a head start. When I get outside Damon's not there.

"Let's get Starbucks!" Rachel smiles leaning against her car, the only one left in the parking lot. Jeremy waves from the backseat.

"Where's Damon?" I ask and she shrugs.

"I'm sorry we're not the hot date you were expecting" Jeremy winks from the back seat.

"You'll have to do" I joke, instantly feeling better as Rachel peels out of the parking lot.

"We can skip the morning if you want?" Rachel says casually, too casually, from the driver's seat.

"The only thing worse than showing up is not showing up, I know I've done nothing wrong." I say sounding more confident than I feel. Rachel makes the right turn that puts us on the clear oath to school.

"You hold on to that belief because they'll try and strip it off you." Rachel advises and I nod as she turns into the school parking lot.

I could sit through an assembly about alcohol awareness, being an example of the disastrous outcome of alcohol. I'd even been asked to make a speech about it, my 'ordeal' and how I'd learned from it. It was hard not to tell my principle to go fuck himself.

"What doesn't kill you…" I mutter as the car stops and we get out.

"Did Damon call you?" Rachel asks seeming intrigued, she's trying to distract me, bless her.

"No and when I called him he had to go." I tell her frowning , he'd seemed really distracted and I could hear other people in the background talking. When I asked him who he was with he said no one and I was more than happy to hang up. He was being shady and with everything else, Damon losing interest in me hurt too much.

"Maybe he was busy." She says happily, linking her arm through mine. Her easy going appearance would be flawless if her arm wasn't so tense. As soon as were in the building I make a deal with myself, I won't once look at the floor or I'll punish myself with seventy sit-ups . Walking with a straight spine and eyes ahead Is like being one of those card stacks Jeremy frequently liked to build, your fine as long as no one blows in your direction.  
As we near the assembly, where the crowds are more pushed together my cardhouse starts to wobble but I manage to keep it together as we reach our seats.

"Move!" A zesty voice commands. Santana's pushes aside the people that were filtering into our row, and is followed by Damon, Puck and Jeremy, before she plops down onto the seat next to Rachel.

Santana's smiling as she folds he legs and winks at me, beside her Damon folds his arms smirking.

"Whats going on?" I ask suspiciously.

"Why whatever do you mean?" she says sweetly, amplifying my suspicion.

I glare at her and Damon leans forward, "Good thing comes to those who wait."

I glare at him and he winks, were interrupted by snorts and giggles behind us. Glancing over my shoulder two girl are sneering at me and I immediately wilt.

"Whats so funny? You should share." Santana growls through a smile.

"So immature." Rachel sings but puts her hand over my knotted fingers.

I give her a weak smile as there's shuffling from behind us and then there's a sickening sweet voice in my ear.

"So did you have to give them permission to use your photo for the ad campaign? That why you'll get a percentage, a small fee towards your next binge session"

She's so close I can see the speckle of freckles on her nose, I'd like to add a new colour to the cream a brown, purple maybe, the paintbrush being my fist. Her rose perfume catches at the back of my throat and I want to cough in her face.

I don't recoil but meet her olive coloured stare without flinching, "Go fuck yourself."

She blinks in surprise and I turn around in my seat, making sure my pony tail whips her face. Rachel turn to the front with me, not even bothering to hide her proud smile and she squeezes my hand.

"Something you want to say Santana?" Quinn snaps.

Out of the corner of my eye I see my friends smile widen, "Oh I don't think I need to say anything." And she turns back around and winks at me.

Okay, what is going on. Santana's been so wound up, ready to smash anyone who even looks at me wrong, although I am glad she doesn't have Quinn in an arm lock, using the chairs as some sort of torture instrument. My quizzical look does not relent and Damon's openly smirking over Santana's shoulder at me and she just shrugs. Even Stefan's knee is bouncing and Puck is sniggering to himself.

"What is going on?" I hiss and then taps the microphone calling assembly to order. Damon puts his finger to his lips and points towards the front. I glare at him but he turns away smirking.

"Hush, hush, settle down" Mr. Figgins drones and goes onto list statistics about alcohol poisoning and teen deaths in the USA every year and I almost zone out.

"And I would like every to pay close attention to the presentation that has been prepared, especially since we have had an incident close to home in the past few weeks."

I feel all the blood drain from my face. Is he allowed to fucking say that? I feel eyes flit around to find me and angry tears spring to my eyes and I glare at the chair in front as its occupier glances over his shoulder at me, Santana kicks his chair.

When I'm positive I've got the water works under control I focus on the front, the white screens being lowered for the presentation DVD but someone else catches my eye.

Jacobs smirking at me, his teeth on show like he's baring them at me and he's chewing gum. Bile threatens to climb my throat and I look quickly, moving closer to Rachel.

"I don't think I can be in here." I tell her in a panic. Her eyes widen in concern and she looks around for an out and starts to stand.

"No you have to stay!" Santana whispers fiercely, flinging her arm out. Her intense face has me curious, so I trust her and settle back into my seat as the light dim.

The production company's logo shows up, along with more statistics, the screen writes out its about to show us some of the worst cases of drinking. The screen blurs then shuts off and a rumble passes through students until the screen turns on again and a complete wave of shock leaves the hall still and speechless.

I literally nearly choke on my tongue at what I'm seeing, I blink rapidly as if the image is going to disappear.

On the screen is a picture, a picture of Quinn posing naked with Jacob drinking out of a vodka bottle in the background also nude.

Rachel's long draw of air might as well suck the shock from the room, because a split second later the reactions start. People start laughing and shouting, Mrs. Sylvester is running up the side aisle screaming for the screen to be shut off. The screen clicks onto another picture, now Quinn, Tyler and Jacob. I am so shocked all I can do is stare, hand slapped over my mouth. The whole room is chaos, Quinn screams so loud behind me I nearly fall off my chair.

"You're famous baby!" ,Santana hollers after her as she throws herself into the aisle and begins running on stage.

The next picture, Jacob passed out with writing all over him and used condom on his head.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Rachel keeps reciting beside me.

Mrs. Sylvester is tarring up the stage, and then Mr. Schue's looking around helpless at what to do, Mr. Figgins has passed out, his shoes visible behind the pulpit he'd been speaking at. Quinn's screaming at someone to do something and Mrs. Sylvester is smacking the laptop and trying to change the programme. Jacob has someone by their collar, face red with anger and is shouting at them, Mr. Saltzman pulls him off and makes him sit back down. Mrs. Sylvester's resorts to throwing the laptop on the floor, smashing it, and trips over the lifeless principle .

Silence radiates around the room, dying down as everyone anticipates more from the people on stage.

I take a moment to feel sorry for Mr. Schue, looking bewildered and slightly disturbed in front of us all. Mrs Sylvester is back on her feet and breathing like a raging bull.

"More titties!" Puck shouts and the place just explodes in people again.

"Everyone go back to their form classes!" Mr. Schue shouts over the chatter and then adds more frighteningly, "right now!" He points to Jacob in the crowd and is obviously telling him to wait there. Quinn's crying on stage and Mrs. Sylvester seems to be giving her every level of hell, I really can't help but feel sorry for her as I'm swept from the hall.

Everyone around us is caught up in electric chatter, excited at the schools new scandal, buzzed by someone else's humiliation, typical high school.

We finally come to a stop in the hall, I haven't been paying attention but Rachel seems to have been leading me. Damon falls back against the lockers, arms crossed with an impassive expression.

"Revenge is a bitch." he says casually but I can tell he's proud of himself.

"And a bitch I am." Santana agrees with an award winning smile.

"I can't believe this." I say stunned.

"Did it work?" Sam demands appearing in between Puck and Jeremy, "I mean I could hear from the room but…"

"Worked like a charm…I mean everyone saw her and his." Puck tells him bumping his shoulder.

Stefan is the only one who looks slightly ashamed of himself.

"Did you have anything to do with that?" Rachel demands rounding on Jeremy who physically jumps away from her. She's angry.

"I knew about it but I didn't do anything…" he says quickly.

Rachel lets out a breath and turns her glare away from him.

"Are you mad?" Santana asks apprehensively to me, "I mean, we finally got them both. Not only will they never live this down they'll be charged with under-age pornography."

"I'm just in shock." I say numbly.

"It's only other way we could get Jacob." Stefan says and it sounds like something he's had to tell himself a lot.

"And Quinn just deserved it." Damon says bluntly.

"It saddens me you didn't put the doggy style one in" Puck pouts and Damon smirks.

"What if you get caught?" I ask.

Sam pats his chest, "My jobs to make sure that doesn't happen and the fifty bucks we had to bribe the AV club with."

"We won." Santana says softly taking my hand.

I look around at their faces, some anxious, expectant, sympathetic and only one smirk.

"Thank you" My voice cracks and I'm swarmed in hugs.

"Would it be pushing it to ditch?" Matt chances.

"I think we've done enough for one day." Stefan says scratching the back of his neck.

"The dark side scares you, doesn't it little brother?" Damon mocks pushing off the lockers and putting his arm around my shoulders as we start up the corridor.

Jeremy tries to put his arm around Rachel but she pushes him hard and he nearly falls.

"I'm not happy about this." She snaps at him and she walks ahead. He gives us an exasperated look before setting off after her.

"You're happy with yourself aren't you?" I say peering up at my dark knight.

He tries to look modest, "I can't take all the credit."

"And you damn well won't" Santana affirms over her shoulder as her and Matt's hands swing between them.

Damon brings us to a stop so the others walk on. He takes me shoulder and turns me to him, letting them slide up to my neck, "Don't feel bad about this…even if you knew, I would have done it anyway. I don't handle asshole's getting their way very well."

"How do you put up with yourself?" I ask in mock amazement.

He spins us so I have my back against the locker and he presses up against me, his lips poised against mine, "You are getting to be one lippy young lady"

"Are you going to punish me?"

He groans and fastens his lips to mine and soon were wrapped around each other in the deserted hall way.

"Can we ditch?" I ask breathlessly, sliding my hands into the waistband of his jeans and pulling him closer.

"Bad influence" he murmurs against my neck, his tongue sweeping over my skin before his kisses it. My leg automatically rubs up against his calve, looking for some friction as it pushes him tighter against me.

Were interrupted by the sound of voices coming quickly up the corridor, he grabs my hands begins pulls us around another corner, I can hear Mr. Schue coming and were outside my role class.

Damon leans down and gives me a sweet, lingering kiss, "Laters baby." And then he's striding down the hall and disappearing around the corner as Mr. Schue appears around the other.

"Thought I told everyone to wait inside" he snaps and I scurry inside.

Nobody looks at me as I come in, people clustered and gossiping and laughing.

I drop down beside Santana, light headed and happy. She grins.

"Today seems just a little bit brighter don't it?"

"I guess so."

"So what are you wearing to the dance? I already know what drink I'm smuggling in."

**…..**

When the bell rings for lunch Damon's waiting outside my class. His arm falls around my shoulders as he leads me down the corridor.

"I don't think I can hold out until the end of the day."

"Maybe I should just torture you." I say innocently so he gives me a dark look.

"After all I've done for you." He says pouting and quickening his pace as we get outside.

"Suppose I have to make it up to somehow" I smirk over the top of his car at him.

"Oh I can think of a few ways." He murmurs silkily sliding into the car and I follow suit.

**….**

My breathings shallow and deep, I feel sensational. Hot tingles running all over my skin and at the same time I'm totally relaxed. Damon's lips reach the curve of my knee and his teeth scrape my thigh. He creates a path of wet kisses up to my mid thigh and then lets his breath fans out over the damp spots making me shiver and arch off his bed. My fingers twirl around locks of his hair, gripping it, and then releasing it. When my grip tightens his kiss gets an edge, literally, and he nips me.

When he's past mid thigh he sits up on his knees and slowly sliding his thumbs into the sides of my panties, his eyes on mine the whole time, he pulls them down. I lift my legs when they reach my knee so he can pull them off and I'm completely naked on his bed, he's shirtless and it's not really acceptable.

"It's not fair you've still got clothes on." I murmur and he kisses my hip.

"All good things…" he tells me softly, trailing kisses down…down…

"Ah" I gasp and my fingers thread into his hair and the world disappears. After all the stress and hostile emotion the past few weeks, his tongue feels foreign and I'm overpowered by the pleasure running all over my skin, making my toes curl. It's hard to keep still and he holds me down by my thighs and hums into me so I squirm and moan even more. Its sweet agony and my fingers scrape against the sheets trying to find stability, hot pleasure is racing ramped through me.

I finally cry out when fireworks explode in my lower regions, sparks running up and down my veins and sending tingles down my spine.  
My eyes are closed and my breathings all over the place as he kisses my hip and crawls up over me.

"That has to be one of my favourite sounds." He hum, his tongue running over my breast before he closes his mouth over my nipple. And just like that I have my energy back and pull him up to me.

"Jeans. Off. Now" I command through kisses and he smirks against my lips and reaches down between us.

His tongue dips into my mouth as he kicks them off and settles between my hips. His hand glides down my thigh and hitches it around his waist as he sinks into me. I break away from his mouth as I moan and his fist curls around the duvet as he eases in, and slowly back out. Its deep and deliberate, its torture.

Oh I have missed this.

I find his mouth again and his hand squeezed the top of my thigh as he grips it, easing back out and in. A low groan sounds in his throat and sends more tingles down my spine. His breathings shallow as he leans his forehead against mine and leans up slightly, holding my hip still to angles us he quickens his pace.

"Oh God" I groan and he buries his face in my neck, his warm tongue gliding out over my feverish skin. I feel too warm; I'm overheating, on the brink of a nuclear explosion. Damon's body flush against mine, only a sheen of sweat between us and it's honestly the best I've ever felt in my life.

"Close?" he breathes and all I can do is nod.

There's a shimmer of my orgasm, its building and I've lost myself completely.

"Hey, hey look at me." He murmurs and he pushes up on his forearms, his nose brushing against mine. I try to, but it's too hard to keep control. I look up into his sapphire cut eyes and mine fall closed again, he brushes his lips against mine and then they fasten with the tension building skyscraper high. The bomb explodes deep inside me and I cry out and bury my face into his shoulder as his thrust become more erratic and he groans into my neck, all I can do is hold on to him.

His thrusts slow, easing us down from the high and loosening the death grip I have on his hair. He kisses me softly once, twice, three times before collapsing next to me. I float slowly back to the bed, like a feather looking for ground, when I've landed I realise how exhausted I am and roll onto my side to look at him with a lazy smile.

He looks so peaceful even though his chest is rising and falling rapidly. His eyes crack open and my smile widens.

"Quitting the team is taking its toll." He mutters and he holds out his arm coaxing me in. I settle down on his chest.

"I'll keep you in shape." I yawn and he laughs.

**…..**

When I wake up I have Damon wrapped around me like ivy, his arm flung around my waist, his leg between mine and his chest against my back. It would be quite cosy if I didn't have to pee. Somehow I wriggle out without waking him and make it his bathroom. For a boy he's quite clean…  
After I freshen up I try fixing my hair, it's quite tumbly, its messy, but good messy…. I suit sex hair. I come out of the bathroom smirking at my new found discovery and find Damon propped up in bed, hands behind his head.

"Well don't you look…satisfied." He says running his tongue along his lip. I'm wearing his shirt…only his shirt. I hum in agreement and crawl, slowly and deliberately onto the bed, my eyes on his the whole time. His eyebrow quirks as if challenging me to what I could possible do next, when he's within reach I start trailing kisses from his stomach up to his chest and I can't help but feel proud as his breathing changes. When I reach his neck I let the tip of my tongue run up to his earlobe and he shivers. Then his hand curls under my thigh and he pulls me into his lap so I'm straddling him, and I can feel the rest of him against my inner thigh. I hum in appreciation and he smirks but the moments interrupted when his phone vibrates.

He groans but reaches over for it anyway and occupy myself with kissing his neck.

"Hello." He answers thickly.

"I cannot believe yous left, I bet you $20 you banged."

Nice Santana.  
I giggle against his shoulder and his fingers run down my back.

"I could be on my death bed for all you know." Damon says casually.

"Death by orgasm." She snorts, "Put your girlfriend on the phone please."

He freezes and a warning bell goes off in my head, I think Santana's just brought up the taboo'd subject that I'd been planning on letting Damon get to on his own.

I take the phone from his already thoughtful face, I wonder what cogs are whirring in his head. His eyes glaze over and I answer Santana's questions in monosyllables. She wants to go prom dress shopping and then she starts laughing proudly about the escapade with the assembly and I have to cut her off, I tell her I'll call her later and hang up. I toss the phone at Damon's chest and swiftly get off him.

I sigh at his furrowed brow and distracted face.

"She freak you out?" I ask, my tones an undercurrent of irritation.

I'm pissed at Santana, I'm pissed at him for over thinking and I'm pissed at myself for even being upset. I know he doesn't want that… or rather he didn't. He's been so attentive and caring and affectionate the past couple of weeks ofcourse I'd assume I'd meant that much to him.

He blinks, "Its just a bit …out of no where."

I jump off the bed and begin hunting for my underwear, not going through this shit again.

"What are you doing?" he demands.

"I am going home." I snap pulling on my panties and jeans quickly. I turn my back to hand pull off his shirt and throw it aside and pull my own on, just better not try and run anywhere…

"Niamh…" he says tiredly.

"Just don't." I dismiss holding my hand, "It's my fault for over thinking it." And I march to his door but then spin on my heel, "You know what, it isn't my fault. You don't act like a friend, there's more than friendship here and Santana's only acknowledging what everyone else can see."

My hearts literally in my mouth as he stares blankly at me.

"We are friends" he says timidly standing up and wrapping the sheet around him.

"No!" I say pointing at him, "I can't be your friend, and that not an ultimatum, it's not all or nothing… well it kind of is but I don't mean it to be…I can't just be your friend or your fuck buddy."

I wait for him to say something, please just say something but he looks bewildered and looks away around the room.

I nod and try and hold back the water works, "Thank you, for everything…and I want to be your friend, I just can't right now."

"Niamh…" he calls after me but I race down his stairs and out of the house. When I'm about 50yards away from his gates I phone Rachel.

**….**

"We can still have fun" Rachel whines down the phone.

I sigh and inwardly search for patience. I wasn't going to prom or whatever dance it was… I wasn't going when everyone's coupled up, despite promises it was a group thing and I wasn't going to be the spare wheel. But it inevitably seemed to be heading that way when I'd accidently overheard Santana tell Matt what she planned on doing to him after she seen him in a suit… it involved handcuffs.

"No Rachel, seriously, I wanna stay in."

"But you've already got your hair and make-up done. ."

Yup, suffered through waxes and hair pulling and impatient beauticians telling me to look at the ceiling as they stuck a brush in my eye.

"No Rachel." I say finally.

"Well I'll miss you there." She replies giving up but then laughs at something in the background. I can hear Jeremy and Puck.

"Have fun." I hang up.

I look at my hair in my vanity, I can't bring myself to pull the pins out… its' so pretty… maybe I should just get hammered and watch The O.C.

There's a knock at my bedroom door.

"Mom for the last time I am not going" I state pulling open the drawer for my baby wipes at the same time I hear my bedroom door open, "I'll give you the money for the salon"

"I was hoping I'd change your mind." A velvet voice murmurs.

I spin in my seat to find Damon leaning against my doorframe in a suit. Holy shit he's hot in a suit. He smirks at my bug eyed expression.

"Stop looking at me like that or we'll never leave"

"What made you change your mind, you said you don't do prom" I say still in a state of shock. He even has a navy tie on… that would pretty much match my dress...or the floor...

"Isn't it cliché type of thing, go to prom with your boyfriend?" he drawls, shrugging off the door frame.

"Boyfriend?"

"I was under the impression the position was open." He murmurs reaching me and leaning over, bracing both hand on the vanity either side of me, "seeing I could no longer be your friend."

"You want to be my boyfriend?" I say clearly a smile playing on my lips.

"Well I sure as hell don't want to be your girlfriend." He says sarcasm literally radiating off him.

"Maybe I don't want a boyfriend" I say pushing it. I take his tie in my hand and let it glide between my fingers.

"So I have to work for it?" he murmurs leaning down further and I hum in agreement.

"Gladly." He purrs before kissing me.

...

ALLLL DONE

I OWN NO ONE BUT NIAMH AND I HOPE SHE ENJOYED IT AND IM SORRY IF ITS SHIT LMAO. THE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER XOX

ALLLL DONE

I OWN NO ONE BUT NIAMH AND I HOPE SHE ENJOYED IT AND IM SORRY IF ITS SHIT LMAO. THE NEXT ONE WILL BE BETTER XOX

Deal with Quinn- Alcohol awareness week. –Photo's with Jacob- they'll get in trouble for underage pornography.

Talk with Damon, relationships/ he doesn't feel he'll live up to her expectations.

Prom.


End file.
